Monday, December 17, 2007

Have an OstoMagical Day!

All righty.

I just got back from... get ready to say "ARE YOU ******* CRAZY, OSTOGIRL?!?" to your monitor... Disney World. Okay, you can yell, I'll cover my ears.

We went to Magic Kingdom and Downtown Disney on Saturday, and we spent the day in Animal Kingdom on Sunday. And let me tell you. Right now, I feel like I'm going to die.

We had a wheelchair both days, sure, but still. I didn't have a wheelchair at Downtown Disney (huge mistake) and no wheelchair at the resort we stayed at, the Port Orleans Riverside. We had like the worst room in the whole place. Well, I mean, the room was nice and it's a really nice hotel, but we were the farthest from the restaurants. No joke. We were seriously on the other side of the resort. So I did a lot of walking. Probably more walking than I've done altogether in the last six months.

At Animal Kingdom, there were a lot of rides I couldn't go on. Expedition: Everest was too big of a roller coaster. Kali River Rapids was too rough and wet. Primeval Whirl would have made me nauseous. But then there was one more thrill ride that I wanted to go on that I did... and it hurt. The bumpiest, possibly scariest, most uncomfortable for your booty ride in Animal Kingdom is Dinosaur, something I do NOT recommend for ostomates. Or people with any butt problems. Because this ride is bumpy, and to keep my stoma from, like, falling off I had to hold tightly on to the handle bars. I mean, TIGHTLY. Like tightly enough that when I got off the ride, my arms hurt. (Oh, and in Animal Kingdom for lunch I HIGHLY recommend the Flame Tree Barbecue. Best fast food in Disney, no contest. Very good for ostomates :])

At Magic Kingdom, I did the regular rides I always do: Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Pirates of the Caribbean, Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin, and my favorites, Splash Mountain and The Haunted Mansion. They completely redid the Haunted Mansion. The room that used to have the bride with the red beating heart is now pictures of her with various dead husbands. As your doom buggy goes by, the husbands go from having heads to no heads. And at the beginning of the ride where there used to be nothing, there are pictures that, when the fake lightning strikes, turn into seriously creepy photos. They made Big Thunder faster, too, and it really makes a difference. I couldn't go on Space Mountain because of the jolts the ride gives you when it starts and finishes, and the handlebars come down tight on your stomach. But I made up for it by going on the equally-as-thrilling it's a small world. Yes, I am a speed demon.

Downtown Disney is like whoa. World of Disney, which is the biggest Disney store in the world, is heeeuge! When you see it, it doesn't look all that big. But look again: The store takes up four of the regular-sized storefronts.

And, I have a surgery update: my surgery might be on January 7th, 2008. I have to get a (grr.) contrast test before it. If my leak isn't closed, we'll have to completely redo my ostomy again. Dr. Thompson will have to take of the J-pouch and sew it back on. But hey, if I never get my ostomy bag off, there's a good thing that comes out of it: we got to the Fastpass line of every Fastpass ride because of my bag. And rides with no Fastpass, we got an alternate entrance. Life is good.

3 comments:

Di said...

After all the crap (pun intended) that you have been through, I think you should have a FastPass at Disney for life. I was going to say a FastPass for life...but then I remembered that I am an adult and I know that as fast as you want to go when you are your age, at my age you know that some of the coolest things happen when you are waiting!

Di said...

Oh...and remember those creepy "inspirational" books...everything I know I learned in kindergarten?

I think you should write a book called, "Everything I learned in life, I learned from my colon" or perhaps, "Chicken Soup for the Ostomate's Soul"...OK Matzo Ball soup...Nana Judi would be so proud!

Ostomy said...

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Ostomy