Someone up in Heaven and/or Hell must really have something against me.
Sunday morning I woke up feeling really good. My eye, which had been dry for the last two weeks, was looking better, and my face and hair were looking - dare I say it? - pretty amazing. So I put on my cutest pair of plaid abercrombie short-shorts (yes, I do have short shorts) and an abercrombie tank top on top of that (see the pattern here?) and went on the coomputer to check my myspace and email.
For the first two hours I was up, my day was absolutely perfect. My mommy toasted me a bagel and I went up to sit at the counter. I was silently eating my bagel and watching a Lily Allen video on Vh1 when my mommy asked, "Casey, does your eye hurt?". I looked at her funny. No, my eye didn't hurt. Why would it? This was Perfect Day, where I was looking extraordinarily cute and feeling awesome and ready to DO FUN STUFF, right?
Then I went back on the computer and talked to some people I don't really like online. I had some wet yucky stuff in my right eye (well, my right your left) so I wiped it with a tissue. Green goopy eye boogers come off. Then my eye started to itch so I rubbed it a little with a tissue and then washed my hands like an OCD person. As I walked back to the computer, my mommy goes, "Casey, look up." So I did. And then she sighed and clicked her tongue and I knew what was coming next. "Oh my God, Casey, you have pinkeye." So much for not saying it.
Like my immune system? It's totally strong. It fights off infections, too. And also, when I get rid of pinkeye, it NEVER, EVER comes back to haunt me two weeks later.
Sigh. I look like a total freak.
Ok, off the conjuctivitis subject, I found this really hilarious magazine cover on the internet.
It's truly genius, where they placed the girl's head and their little green caption bubble, don't you think? (If you're mentally retarded - oh, I'm sorry, DIFFERENTLY ABLED - and don't get it, it's supposed to be 'Parents' magazine, but with a little strategic placing it now says 'Penis'.)
I hate pinkeye and ostomy bags and contrast tests,