Life as an Ostomate

Oops, I Did It Again

2008-02-20T18:31:00.008-05:00

I told you that I was going to post, but I didn't. So now, I really am. Truly. I'm going to post more. WAY more. I'm going to post every single day until March 1st.
So, now, I present to you, the first post in a series of ten...

...and nothing to say.

Well, there is something to say. I've been very sensitive and hurt-y lately. The last time I changed my wafer there was an open scar on my right side. It was, um, rather large. And wide. And deep. And sore. Remember when I had a deep, open scar on the left side? I don't know about you, but I most definitely do. It kept my wafer from staying on more than a couple hours. Now, this scar isn't making my wafer not stick as well, but it's really hurting me. I almost didn't go to school today because of it. But then again, I almost don't go to school for a lot of things.

WHOA. My 4-year-old cousin just farted about 12 million times and it stinks more than my ostomy when I don't put in Stop Drops.

I was going to write something, but I don't remember what it was. Oh yeah, now I do.

Here's good look at my osto-site, in a 3-D Vision Diagram.

This is the whole thing, adhesive stains and all.

This is my ostomy belt. It helps keep the bag on, so something like what happened a couple weeks ago doesn't happen again and I DON'T wind up with no bag :]

This is my clip. It keeps the bag from popping open.

This is my scar. See that little red thing? That's him. Reddy Whip.

I have more, but I'm running out of battery so I have to stop here. But I guess you'll hear more from me tomorrow.

A Rant; and I Promised to Post This

2008-02-04T22:01:00.000-05:00

/Begin Rant/
This is for someone who doesn't read this blog. At least I don't think. She's not in my family so relax, mom.
Stop telling me you know what's going on. Cause you don't.
And DON'T SPELL OSTOMY 'OSTAMIE'. Cause I hate that.
And don't say you know how I feel. Because, once again, you don't. And I can promise you that you have never felt pain like I usually feel ever in your 12 years of life.
When I say I feel bad, I do. Don't try to perk me up because I will just go crazy bitch in your face. Do NOT try to set me up with Bryan Rippe. Yes, I like him. But I don't want a boyfriend because I have a BIG WHITE OSTOMY BAG hanging out from under my shirt and it makes me feel INSECURE. That's something you don't know about because you've never felt it. Just because you get stomachaches once in a while doesn't mean they're the colitis stomachaches I was once used to.
/End Rant/

So. How was your day? More like how was your month? I haven't posted since January 7th, I think, and I have so much to tell you. Let's start with some lighthearted stuff to undo the ultimate power of mega-rant.

Last week, we had a last day on Thursday. That morning, my mommy and I had to change my wafer and he bag just would not stay on. We tried and tried but when another part clicked on, the other side clicked off. When we finally got most of the bag clicked on to the wafer, I had to rush out the door and go to school.
Today the first period I went to was second, which is World Cultures. About halfway into the period, I noticed something wet on my shirt. Oh crap, I thought, I was leaking. When I lifted up my shirt to inspect the damage, I found a disturbing discovery - I wasn't leaking after all, but the bag had fallen off the wafer while I was running to class! I had a wafer and a completely exposed stoma for Brian Hahn (thankfully not the Brian I like that I mentioned in the rant!), the kid who sits next to me, to see. He asked what it was and I told him a small intestine, and that I needed to get Ms. Breitkopf's attention now. So both of us stage-whispered "Ms. Breitkopf! Ms. Breitkopf!" But we're in the back of the room so she didn't hear. Nick, the kid in front of me, heard our frantic whispers and called for her too, louder than Brian and I could. She saw the nurse's pass in my hand - I have a permanent one that I keep in my binder - and motioned for the door.
When I got to the nurse's office, I was laughing hysterically. "Wanna hear something funny?" I asked Nurse Lorraine. We went into the girl's part of the office and I showed her what had happened and explained where it probably was. She called my mom, also laughing hysterically, and told her the story too. When my mom had come with a new bag, it was already 11:30 and school was ending in an hour and a half. So she took me home and I said that I had to put this in my blog. So now I am.

Still no news on when my surgery is, though. I'm going for another study next Wednesday the 13th (I think it's the 13th, but I don't know...) so cross everything!

x Ostogirl

So, Um, Yeah.

2008-01-07T19:53:00.000-05:00

Today was my first day back at school. And you'll never guess what happened.

I had to go home. Of course.

MAJOR pain behind poor stoma. I left almost as soon as I came. Very annoying.

It didn't help that it was MONDAY, either. Starting school on a Monday was not a very good call. Everyone was sooo miserable. Especially those of us with an ostomy bag.

And yes, Haley, my closet cleaning was very successful. So now it's time for SHOPPING to fill up the now-empty spaces!

Remember to nominate me for a Bloggie!! Nominate under the Best Teen Blog category. I know that I have a readership of, like, four, but maybe four nominations can get me somewhere.

By the way, Juno is the greatest movie ever. You should see it. My bag kind of ruined it by leaking super-majorly halfway through, though. Ah, the power of a leaking ostomy bag and fresh, liquidy poop all over your belly.

This is a short post because my hands are not working today, and I'm tired and hungry.

Don't forget to vote for me!!

T

It's a New Year And...

2008-01-06T09:37:00.000-05:00

My bag is seriously NOT cooperating. The reason I haven't blogged for more than a week is because my bag is leaking EVERY SINGLE DAY. That's ALL CAPS so I'm MAD.

I got my own computer so I'm not allowed to use my mom's anymore. And it's been waiting and waiting for me to use it. I just set it up a couple days ago. All by myself.

Back to my leaky bag. It's leaked every single day for the past week and a half, if not longer. I just got a good fit yesterday but I don't want to jinx it! I'm not in a very good mood. Whenever my bag leaks it really brings me down.

I was nominated for a Bloggie by the amazing Diane! So nominate me or I will spill my ostopoop on you. And I didn't put Stop Drops in this morning so it's gonna stink.

My sister just threw gum at me.

Nominate me for the Best Teen Blog category because I've already been nominated twice. Yes, I nominated myself. Shuttup.

Did I tell you? I don't know if I told you. I got a completely adorable, amazingly cute, evil, vicious, growling puppy! But she's so cute and fluffy so we don't care that she's bad.

I present to you: Casey and Pepper.

But Pepper has a dark side, too. She likes to bite, and when she gets crazy, she's crazy.

I have absolutely nothing to blog about. This has got to be the most boring blog I've ever written. I'm boring myself.

But you should NOMINATE ME FOR A BLOGGIE. I realize that this is, like, soo boring, but if you need reassurance go read my earlier stuff or my stuff from November or December. I had a lot to write about then. Not like now. Where my life is uninterest-

OOH! I GOT IT! Surgery news. Well, my contrast test didn't turn out so good, as the radiologist was quick to say. But when Dr. Thompson looked at them again he said that the leak isn't as bad as we thought. He's going to show the studies to a colon-rectal surgeon at UM and get a second opinion. I was supposed to have the surgery tomorrow, but again, not happening. Hate fortune cookies. Hate my superstitiousness. Did I spell that right?

Today I'm going to clean out my closet. It's a new year. I have an interesting life. Really, ostomy bags don't make you interesting, they just make you skinny and boring.

Under Pressure

2007-12-29T09:43:00.000-05:00

I took a contrast study yesterday. And, like all three of my fortune cookies said, it didn't turn out so good.

I now have two leaks, and one of them isn't getting any smaller. The other one is getting a teensy bit smaller every time - but if it gets just a little bit smaller each time, it could take years to close up (that's what the radiologist said). So Dr. Thompson is going to have to go in and totally redo the ostomy. Like take the small intestine back up and in, take the J-pouch off and sew it on again, and then take the intestine up and over my skin again.

It's going to be a while before I have this thing off. Like, a really LONG while.

It's time for me to give my blog a makeover again! Christmas is over. The best gift I got is a tree ornament from the amazing Neer family that has me as a doctor and says 'Who needs a colon?' on a perscription bottle I'm holding. I love it!!

On Vh1 and Vh1 Classic, they have a countdown of the 100 Greatest Songs of the 80's. It's the best. Haley and I were watching it and we were trying to figure out what song would be in the preview if my life were made into a movie.

Word to your mother.

Depressing Fortune Cookies: Ruining the Hopes and Dreams of Young Ostomates

2007-12-24T21:57:00.000-05:00

'Twas the night before Christmas
When Jews eat Chinese food
Haven't bought any presents?
You're probably screwed.
'Twas the night before Christmas
And this ostomate sighed
Because she knew that tonight
Her puppy would cry.
To-mor-row morning (it's a stretch, but bear with me here. i feel like i've just gotten an 8 gallon shot of morphine. something was totally laced in my club soda tonight.)
When Christian people live well
All of my family
Is at the Boca Hotel.
'Twas the night before Christmas
And I'm a very jealous girl
Who ate too many lettuce wraps
And is now gonna hurl.

Like it?
So, okay, I'm not really gonna throw up. Gosh, just saying the word 'hurl' or 'barf' makes you feel sick, right? Cause I didn't feek nauseous, like, a second ago and now I do. I've realized that I am a frequent, comma, abuser, because, I, just, looked, at, all the posts I've done since October and I, use, commas, too, much.
So tonight we ate Chinese at the best Chinese restaurant in Florida, Orient Palace. It's like a half-hour drive but sooo worth it. Except for when we got the fortune cookies.

LINDSAY'S FORTUNE: People are drawn to you because of your charm.
NANA JUDI'S FORTUNE: The greatest decision you'll ever make will be made tomorrow.
GRANDMA'S FORTUNE: You are good with money.
ZACK'S FORTUNE: You will have excellent luck come the New Year.
DADDY'S FORTUNE: The next question someone asks, the answer is yes.

Those are all kickbutt fortunes, am I right? I mean, Lindsay's charming, Nana's a good decision maker, grandma's good with money, Zazk will have good luck in like a week, and daddy has the next 12 seconds of his life already planned out! So what did mine say?

CASEY'S FORTUNE, TAKE 1: So I ask the cookie before I break it, "Will I get my bag off?" and it breaks into 3 pieces after I split it open. Guess what the fortune says?
If your cookie broke into 3 pieces, the answer is no.
CASEY'S FORTUNE, TAKE 2: You're laughing now, just wait till the New Year.
And the WORST FORTUNE COOKIE I HAVE EVER RECEIVED, EVER?!
CASEY'S FORTUNE, TAKE 3: The end of your struggles are not near. They will never end.

What. The. Eff.

My first fortune basically TOLD me I wasn't getting the bag off. My second fortune sounds like a death threat and let me know that I would NOT be laughing come 2008. And my third fortune, like, wtf? Who makes a fortune like that? These fortunes are NOT FUNNY. They are HAZARDOUS to my MENTAL WELL-BEING!!!

I'm good.

But seriously, what's up with depressing fortunes? The one my Poppy (mom's dad) got said This is not your week. More like this is not my YEAR.

Oh, and Merry Christmas.
Fortune cookies are ho, ho, hos.

Have an OstoMagical Day!

2007-12-17T13:26:00.000-05:00

All righty.

I just got back from... get ready to say "ARE YOU ******* CRAZY, OSTOGIRL?!?" to your monitor... Disney World. Okay, you can yell, I'll cover my ears.

We went to Magic Kingdom and Downtown Disney on Saturday, and we spent the day in Animal Kingdom on Sunday. And let me tell you. Right now, I feel like I'm going to die.

We had a wheelchair both days, sure, but still. I didn't have a wheelchair at Downtown Disney (huge mistake) and no wheelchair at the resort we stayed at, the Port Orleans Riverside. We had like the worst room in the whole place. Well, I mean, the room was nice and it's a really nice hotel, but we were the farthest from the restaurants. No joke. We were seriously on the other side of the resort. So I did a lot of walking. Probably more walking than I've done altogether in the last six months.

At Animal Kingdom, there were a lot of rides I couldn't go on. Expedition: Everest was too big of a roller coaster. Kali River Rapids was too rough and wet. Primeval Whirl would have made me nauseous. But then there was one more thrill ride that I wanted to go on that I did... and it hurt. The bumpiest, possibly scariest, most uncomfortable for your booty ride in Animal Kingdom is Dinosaur, something I do NOT recommend for ostomates. Or people with any butt problems. Because this ride is bumpy, and to keep my stoma from, like, falling off I had to hold tightly on to the handle bars. I mean, TIGHTLY. Like tightly enough that when I got off the ride, my arms hurt. (Oh, and in Animal Kingdom for lunch I HIGHLY recommend the Flame Tree Barbecue. Best fast food in Disney, no contest. Very good for ostomates :])

At Magic Kingdom, I did the regular rides I always do: Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Pirates of the Caribbean, Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin, and my favorites, Splash Mountain and The Haunted Mansion. They completely redid the Haunted Mansion. The room that used to have the bride with the red beating heart is now pictures of her with various dead husbands. As your doom buggy goes by, the husbands go from having heads to no heads. And at the beginning of the ride where there used to be nothing, there are pictures that, when the fake lightning strikes, turn into seriously creepy photos. They made Big Thunder faster, too, and it really makes a difference. I couldn't go on Space Mountain because of the jolts the ride gives you when it starts and finishes, and the handlebars come down tight on your stomach. But I made up for it by going on the equally-as-thrilling it's a small world. Yes, I am a speed demon.

Downtown Disney is like whoa. World of Disney, which is the biggest Disney store in the world, is heeeuge! When you see it, it doesn't look all that big. But look again: The store takes up four of the regular-sized storefronts.

And, I have a surgery update: my surgery might be on January 7th, 2008. I have to get a (grr.) contrast test before it. If my leak isn't closed, we'll have to completely redo my ostomy again. Dr. Thompson will have to take of the J-pouch and sew it back on. But hey, if I never get my ostomy bag off, there's a good thing that comes out of it: we got to the Fastpass line of every Fastpass ride because of my bag. And rides with no Fastpass, we got an alternate entrance. Life is good.

I Love You, Stoma and Other Random Thoughts

2007-12-09T09:45:00.000-05:00

Last night, I got very emotional. Why? Because I changed the wafer that they put on after surgery. I told my mom and dad this same exact story in these same exact words.

Ok, here we go. At around 3:30, I noticed my bag was leaking liquid, but not the actual poop so I put some surgical tape on it and just let it slide. But then it started to leak more and at around 5:00 I unwillingly had to take it off and change it. I was taking the wafer off when I realized how gigantically huge my stoma has gotten because of the surgery. So, I did what any sane person would do. I started to cry. Really cry, with dripping tears and yucky snot. The works. So I went in the shower to clean off my stoma cause it was really dirty. The stoma itself had that mucusy stuff that usually stays inside your body on it so I had to clean that off. And when it wouldn't come off with the cloth I had to actually touch it. With my bare hands. The mucus is sort of like wet booger. Then I accidentally srubbed ot hard trying to clean the area around it and the stoma got a cut and started to bleed.
As I was getting out of the shower my stoma exploded with toxic waste so I had to go back in the shower, clean it again, clean the floor, and clean the shower door. By now I was really crying. Then I had to cut the sticky part of the wafer to fit the stoma. I cut the size of the hole we usually cut to compare how big it had gotten. Seriously, it barely fit the hole that the poop comes out of. No way did it fit the whole stoma. Then I cut the hole a little bigger and it still didn't fit. Then I cut the hole even bigger and it still didn't fit. Then I had to cut the hole until the sticky stuff left around the plastic ring was about this thin:
________________________

The stoma is HUGE.
Oh yeah, and there's this drain that they had in my bladder during my hospital visit, so on the last day Dr. Neville, who's another doctor in the practice, had to pull the drain out. They gave me a little bit of morphine and she pulled it- with no anesthesia- after the morphine kicked in. It still hurt like hell and the cut from where it came out oozes a little. So I put anti-infecting stuff on the cut which stung so bad. I put neosporin on a huuuge Band-Aid and stuck it on there.
So then after that, I stuck the wafer on. And the top of the stoma is wider than the bottom so the stoma was squeezed, making more poop some out. So then I had to rush back into the shower and risk having me leak just so I could keep the wafer clean. But luckily, I got a pretty good fit on it so it didn't fall off. Then I had to put the bag on. Remember that cut I was telling you about? Well, duh, you only read it like 30 seconds ago. Well the plastic ring that snaps the bag on was right over my oozy, swollen, ouchy cut. When I pressed the bag on, I could feel the cut throbbing and it hurt so bad. The bag, though, was not cooperating so I had to press for like 5 minutes on the one area where my little cut was just to get the bag to stay on. And by now it hurts really badly. It's throbbing and oozing.

So I took a vicodin and everything was better. Oh, and by the way, the vicodin takes just about forever and a half to kick in. With the morphine, I could feel it in 15 minutes. With the vicodin, I have to wait 45 minutes before my pain is the least bit relieved. PLUS, it has funky side-effects. Sometimes when I take it I get very very very VERY happy. Sometimes, I get all, "the world is pink and look talking hamburgers and ohmygosh what a pretty flowerrr". And sometimes I kinda get all quiet and I just need to lay down. And other times I just get cranky, but not crazypsychobitch like the tylenol with codeine made me, just bitch. And sometimes I start thinking about lots of things at once and my brain gets all jumbled up. I took a vicodin about 20 minutes ago. Which Casey will it be today? There's Happy Casey, High Casey, Quiet Casey, Cranky Casey, and Mixed-up Casey.

Also, I must gain weight now. Again. At least my skinny jeans fit. A couple weeks ago I couldn't wear anything except those sweats that end below your knee and have that elastic ring and the ends. I have so many pairs of those. Well, I know I'm making progress when my skinny jeans are actually skinny, not baggy. Well, they're still a little baggy, but they fit well enough so you know they're supposed to be skinny fit. I mean, if a size 12 Slim skinny wash from abercrombie is too big, then you're too small. I mean, really, these things don't fit my sister and she's nine years old. This is such a long post about the randomest things that popped into my head this morning.

Coming Soon: A holiday gift guide/wish list type thing. Just some awesome things I found, mostly for kids (and adults who are young at heart). Plus, they're cheap and I would want any of these things. So these are gift ideas for anybody (AHEM AHEM AHEM) for like $20 and under.

Till the skinny jeans fit a little better,
Casey

It's Beginning to Look a Little Like Christmas...

2007-12-08T13:04:00.000-05:00

Well, in my computer anyway. Not even in my computer, the background is a double rainbow we saw in New York. Definitely not outside, it's hot, humid, and wet. But I just re-did the blog for the third time in, like, two weeks. I like it. It's Christmas-y without being in-your-face. Ok, just telling you what I did. The end.

Some Christmas Music

2007-12-08T10:09:00.000-05:00

Deck the halls with streaks of sunlight
Falalalalalalalala
'Tis the season to be sweaty
Falalalalalalalala
It's December but
It's 84 degrees out
Lalala Lalala Lalala
Deck the halls with lots of palm trees
Falalalala...lalalalaaaaaa

Jingle bells
Here it smells
Like Boca people's sweat
It's too hot here
I'm cranky and sore
Not in the mood for holiday cheer, hey!
Jingle bells
My stomach's swelled
Up to the circumference of Jupiter
It's hard to enjoy
The holidays
When your belly feels like someone's murdering you slow and painfullyyyyyyyyy!

Those are my little songs. Hope you enjoyed.

I feel pretty good today, actually, besides being so sore from surgery. I'm gonna eat now. Cinnamon rolls. Yum.

I'm Not Allowed in Here

2007-12-05T17:16:00.000-05:00

Chicago Dating

This is what my blog is rated, according to www.justsayhi.com. This is for use of the words sex 10 times, kill 6 times, death 4 times, drugs 2 times, sexy 1 time, and porn 1 time. Yeah. It's all drugs, killing and sex here at Life as an Ostomate. I don't even know how I got the word sex 10 times. I don't use the word that often! I'm going to count and see how correct this thing is.

Just Like Dr. House

2007-12-05T14:48:00.000-05:00

I am so ex-ci-ted! I am singing a song! Lalalalalala! I'm leaving the hos-pi-tal! Today or early to-mor-row! As long as I can wean off the mor-phine! And I have no pa-ain! Lalalalalalala!

Ok, stopping. But I'm so happy! I'm happy enough to have happy spelled with 5,000 Y's. Or E's. Like happeeeee. I might be leaving the hospital today after staying just one short (ok, one LOOOOONG) week!

There's this little kid in the room next to me. He must be about 3 or 4. They're taking surgical stickers off of him and he's crying and screaming, "Dadeeeeeee, dadeeeeeeeeee!" I feel sooo bad, because taking off surgical stickers hurts like hell.

Anyways, if you know me you know one of my most favorite things to do is sit on the couch on Tuesday nights and watch House. It's like the most amazing show ever. Besides Private Practice. And Grey's. And also, my new favorite, Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. It's on the Travel Channel like every day and 12 and 1, and he's the funniest. guy. ever. Besides Joel McHale, that guy on The Soup. My nana watched The Soup for the first time on Monday and she was cracking up. I just got way off-topic. What I was trying to say was, I like House. It's a hilarious show and he made an ostomy joke! I fall madly in love with anyone who can tell a good ostomy joke. Here's how it went. So Dr. House and Dr. Wilson were trying to decide what this man who was obviously dying has. House had all of the symptoms on his board and Dr. Wilson was like, "It's colon cancer!" and House goes, "Well, it better not be, cause I used all of the bags we have while I was grocery shopping." I just got off-topic AGAIN. What I was TRYING to say before I got off topic like 10 times was this.

You know how House takes vicodin? And he's addicted? Well now I get to be like him cause I TAKE VICODIN TOO.

They're sending me home from here with it because I can't tolerate codeine. It makes me a crazy psycho bitch. My mommy said so. But vicodin, so far, just makes me happy and a little loopy for a while. It's actually hilarious. I was like cracking up for no reason and talking weird, but only for the first like half an hour after it kicked in. Now I feel fine. Sort of.

Yay for narcotics! Wooo!

If You Go Under... But Don't Go Out

2007-11-26T19:34:00.000-05:00

"It is known as anesthesia awareness. The body is asleep... but the mind is awake. What if you went under... but didn't go out?"

Oh. My. God. Please. No.

Another anesthesiologist-wants-to-kill-you thing. First, I read Coma by Robin Cook (the linking isn't working, sorry), about a murderer who kills his victims by tampering with the amount of anesthesia they get during surgery. This puts them into a fatal coma, never to wake up. I read this in March, before I even knew I was getting an ostomy bag. So granted, the only thing I was thinking about as I got the first dose of anesthesia was, "Omigod he looks like a criminial. I swear I saw him on To Catch a Predator." I don't even watch To Catch a Predator!!

So I've stopped thinking about the anesthesia "mistake" in Coma just long enough for another evil doctor to come on to the scene in that new movie Awake. It's about a surgeon and anesthesiologist who are in surgery and put the guy under anesthesia, but he can feel everything and hear everything they say. And they want to kill him. And I don't know how long this movie can last if they kill of the lead character with anesthesia, but not the point. I know my surgeon and anesthesiologist don't want to kill me, but it still makes me freaked out!

So if I go under... but don't go out, and I experience anesthesia awareness, and my body is asleep... but my mind is awake, I'll miss you all.

P.S. What does that even mean??

The Ostogods Hate Me

2007-11-24T16:59:00.000-05:00

I am so proud of myself. I made progress today. I asked for breakfast and my mommy or daddy didn't even remind me. I asked for drinks and I was always sipping on something. I got up and took a walk around the neighborhood when I wasn't even asked to. I asked for lunch before anyone had to remind me it was time to eat. I ate at reasonable hours without going more than 3 hours without food. I went for another walk with my mommy and my nana. I took a long, hot shower, standing up the entire time. I drank two bottles of Acai juice, took my disgusting antioxidant and multivitamin out of the fridge and took them both without having to be reminded, and ate a snack. I drank a full bottle of pomegranate juice and had no mood swings today. I never once gagged

So tell me. Why is there NOTHING, zip, nada, zero output in my bag?!

I'll tell you why. The ostogods hate me. When I don't do what I'm supposed to, they give me output towards the end of the day, around right now. And lots of it! But I only walk once those days, and it's only half the neighborhood, And I gag when I eat. I don't eat enough. I get moody and most of my day is spent sitting down. I always have to be reminded to eat. But the one day I do everything right and just like I'm supposed to, the ostogods decide I'm not worthy of any output.

What. The. Freak?

Someone's gotta email those unfair little -censored- (There, happy, Lindsay?) and tell them I did what I'm supposed to! I'm a good girl! I deserve some love! I thought the ostogods loved me! That's why they were giving me the unnecessary output! But I guess not...

"Love, I put my faith in love... I followed where it led... to my personal circle of hell... it has not worked out well."
(From Legally Blonde the Musical. It's a bit of an obsession.)

Coming soon, my email to the ostomy gods.

I'm Thankful for my Ostomy Bag

2007-11-22T09:38:00.000-05:00

Since today is Thanksgiving, I've decided to do a SUPER SPECIAL EDITION POST!! Instead of the this-sucks attitude that usually comes across in my blog posts, I'm going to give you a list of the good things that have come out of me having an ileostomy bag.

1. I learned lots of funky medical terms and I get to sound, like, super duper smart when I use them. Like toxic shock syndrome (thanks to Laura for that one), phantom pain, and rectal/stomal output (which is just a really fancy name for poop).

2. aFtRr lErNiN aLl tHu BiIg wUrDzz ii d0nT tAlK lYk diZZ n ii tH!Nk iTz lYk $0 aNn0yiin wEn PpL d00 dIz. ii mEEn sRsLy uu g0 2 sK00l rIte? tAlk lYk aa hUmaN Be!nG.

3. I get lots of sympathy!

4. We're going to Disney in two weeks, and because I'll still have my bag on then (4 MORE WEEKS AHH!) Dr. Thompson or my uncle, who's a chiropractor, gets to write us a note and we bring it to guest services and we get to go to the FRONT OF EVERY LINE OH YEAH!

5. We interrupt this post to bring you AWESOME NEWS: LEGALLY BLONDE THE MUSICAL IS ON THE MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE!!! THEY ARE PERFORMING WHAT YOU WANT!!! I AM OBSESSED!!!

6. I have a really good reason not to do drugs. These are the exact words from a website I was on:
"Methamphetamine should not be taken by people without a large intestine. This will result in failure to digest quickly enough and almost immediate death."
I can see it now: "Hey Casey, come on, try this meth!" "No thanks, Tom. I have no colon and me taking that would result in immediate death."

7. I get to be lazy most of the day which means I can watch Legally Blonde the Musical like all day.

8. This has made me pretty strong and pain is not usually a big deal.

9. As the guy from fear factor says, fear is not a factor for me. Well, yes it is. Like crowded elevators and heights and bugs, those bring me fear. But not my ostomy bag!

10. And that's it. I can't think of anything else.

That was a sad little list.

The Twelve Step Program for Ostomates

2007-11-15T08:44:00.000-05:00

STEP ONE: STATE YOUR NAME AND YOUR PROBLEM.
Hello, my name is Casey, and I'm an ostomate.
Since June 11th, 2007, my life has been filled with poop that could very well be dirty rainwater's stunt double, obstructions every freaking month, throwing up spontaneously, lots and lots of blockages, contrast tests every 5 weeks, and random things such as fingers and tubes put up my bootay and small intestine.
STEP TWO: OKAY, EWWWWWWW. WHY...?
Why, you ask?
To get rid of a disease called colitis. Yes, no more colon means no more colitis stomachaches. No chance of getting colon cancer. No more colonoscopies or endoscopies. But sadly, it also means a little less of a life, for now.
STEP THREE: HOW HAS THIS IMPACTED YOUR EDUMBCATION?
School is a problem. I'm absent usually once a week, sometimes more on a bad week. Last week I wasn't there at all. I had an obstruction that needed to be fixed by surgery. This week I was only there Tuesday, and I'll go back tomorrow. Right now I have a partial blockage that we're trying to fix by a remedy we found on a website for ileostomy care.
STEP FOUR: HOW HAS THIS IMPACTED YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? LIKE, WITH PEOPLE. YEAH.
Lindsay and Zachary don't know anything about my ostomy. Whenever I even mention it Lindsay pretends she has to go throw up. Zachary is adorable about it. When I say I feel sick he comes and hugs me. But he also jumps on the bed, wakes me up, and comes in every twelve seconds. My mommy sometimes gets edgy with me when I don't eat because I don't feel good.
STEP FIVE: WHY IS MR. GALLO SO MEEEAN?
I don't knowww! He makes me make up all the homework I missed! Grr.
STEP SIX: SO DO YOU, LIKE, HAVE FRIENDS? CAUSE THAT'S GROSS!
My friends are really understanding about it, thankfully. Some more than others. I've really learned who my real friends are because of this. Some people just don't get it though. I've had people ask me, "What's that?" just randomly in the hallway.
STEP SEVEN: YOUR CLOTHES DON'T COVER IT?!? EWWWWWWW!!
No, my clothes do cover it. And if they ride up while I'm sitting or something, I have white bags so that no one can see my toxic waste.
STEP EIGHT: OKAY, GOOD. CAUSE THAT WOULD BE, LIKE, SO GROSS.
You know, this isn't really helping.
STEP NINE: SO YOU COULD BE POOPING RIGHT NOW AND WE WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW IT?
Yeah, basically. I can poop standing up, sitting down, while I'm sleeping, in school, anywhere, anytime. And I only have to empty the whole thing every four hours or so. I usually empty in school around fourth period.
STEP TEN: SO YOU COULD USE IT AS A WEAPON AGAINST A ROBBER BY POURING IT ON THEM.
Good idea!
STEP ELEVEN: THIS OSTOMY THING IS ACTUALLY KIND OF INTERESTING.
When you take the time to think about it, it is. I mean, a vital organ that's supposed to stay in your body just wasn't working for me. If I didn't have this ostomy bag, I'd be dead or somewhere close to it.
STEP TWELVE: ARE YOU EVER GETTING IT OFF?
Yes! We've set a date: December 21st. I could not be more excited and nervous. I'm kinda gonna miss my little stoma buddy, but I am not going to miss all the problems that came with him! I've learned so much from having this. But there's a time for everything, and really, I couldn't deal with this any longer.

The Real Birthday Starts When This Toture Ends

2007-10-19T13:21:00.000-04:00

It's my birthday today!
And while everyone loves their birthday, ostomy bags make it a little more speical. Why? Because I got BLOCKED. On my BIRTHDAY. It's now quickly unblocking itself. But what started it, really, was all my fault. Yesterday, I ate a jillion marshmallows to slow down my output so my mommy could change the wafer. Wowie, I'm a retard. I ate one too many marshmallows, and BAM, instant birthday suprise from my baggie! I think it was his was of saying, "Happy Birthday, and remember, I hate marshmallows."

500 Questions
1.What time is it? 1:35 P.M.
Personal
2.Do you want to answer these? Sure. I started it, didn't I?
3.Name? Casey
4.Name spelled backwards? Yesac
5.What is your quest? To survive till December.
6.Nickname? Kay, Case, Miley, Case-Case
7.Age? 12 today!
8.Hometown? Boca Raton
9.What were you born in? Delray Beach
10.Where do you live now? Where the Japs and senior citizens come out to play, Boca.
11.What state? Florida
12.Ever going to move? Probably not. I like it here.
13.Would you rather live somewhere else? No way.
14.Birthdate? TODAY!
15.When do you blow out your candles? 8:15 tonight, baby.
16.Day you were born? Tuesday.
17.Zodiac sign? Libra
18.Do you know what that is? Scale (ironic, isn't it?)
19.Sex? Female
20.Height? 5'1"
21.Weight? Like... 85, I think.
22.Eye color? Dark blue
23.Hair color? Red/blonde/brown
24.Any siblings? 1 brother, 1 sister. They're twins.
25.Names and ages? Both nine, Lindsay and Zachary
26.Do you get along with them? Sometimes. I get along better with Zachary.
27.Any pets? 1 fish, because we killed the other two (accidentally!) and a brother :)
28.Names? Nemo
29.Parents? Of course. How would I be here if I didn't have any?
30.Names? Stacy & Michael
31.Do you get along with them? Really well :D
32.Married or divorced? Still married.
33.How long? 16 years, I think...
34.Website? I have a MySpace. Does that count?
35.Email? No thank you. Don't really want to get raped today.
36.AOL s/n? No wayyyy.
37.Yahoo s/n? You do realize that I won't give it to you, right?
38.ICQ? What's that?
39.MSN? Like MSN.com?
40.How many people are on your buddy list? Like 120. I don't know, my AIM isn't working.
41.Phone number? HA... no.
42.Personality? Funny, a bit of a perfectionist, a bit of a suck-up, creative (most of the time), and sometimes I can be bossy, but I try not to be.
School
43. Do you want to answer these? No, but I will.
44.What school do you go to? Do I want people to stalk me?
45.What year are you? 6th grade
46.What are you? In sixth grade?
47.Hardest class? Uh, probably World Cultures. The tests are harddd.
48.Easiest class? Science.
49.Most fun class? Math! 5th period rocks.
50.What day did school start? August 22nd
51.Do you have classes with friends? Yup.
52.Do you have friends? Duh.
53.Do you go to school events? Depends when or what it is.
54.What was the last event you went to? the Junior Jaguar Jamboree... wooo!
55.Do you have school spirit? School spirit... sometimes.
56.Do you go to dances? Yeah!
57.Stag or with someone? Either, I guess.
Relationships
58. Do you want to answer these? Grrrrr.
59.Have a significant other? Lalalala.
60.What is their name? Ladeeda.
61.How old are they? Dooooodly doo.
62.How long have you been going out? Do the funk-ay chickennn.
63.Have you been faithful? Dun dun DUNNNN.
64.Do you have a crush? Yup.
65.Who? Someone that I can't tell youuu.
66.Do they know you like them? Yes
67.You ever going to tell them? I did.
68.Do you have an online crush? An online crush? What does that even mean?
69.Who? Are you an owl? :)
In the Past 24 Hours Have You?
70. Do you wonder why I'm asking these questions? I don't wonder or care.
71.Had a serious talk? Yes
72. Hugged someone? Yes
73.Fought with a friend? No
74.Cried? Yes
75.Laughed? Yes
76.Made someone laugh? Yes
77.Bought something? No
78.Cut your hair? No
79.Felt stupid? Yes
80.Talked to someone you love? Yes
81.Missed someone? YESSSSS.
Have-you-ever ?
82. You want me to tell you? Hey, I'm the one who's telling you stuff around here.
83.Smoked? No way. Eww.
84.Stolen something? No
85.Done drugs? EWW.
86.Drank? Well, like a sip of a Pina Colada and an accidental gulp of my daddy's beer that I thought was my Coke.
87.Gotten drunk? Nope.
88.Eaten an entire box of Oreos? Ok, um, ewww.
89.Been dumped? No, thankfully.
90.Had someone be unfaithful to you? No
91.Hiked up a mountain? Nooo and I don't plan to.
92. Stayed home on Saturday night, just because? Yeah. I do it all the time. You must learn that I have, like, no life whatsoever.
93.Been in love? Nope.
94.Seen the White House? Nope.
95.Seen the Eiffel Tower? Only in 'A View From the Top'. And pictures. Lucky ducks.
96.Try smoking? Ew.
97.Played monopoly? Yeah, and I always win. That's right.
98.Seen Titanic? Yes
99.Kissed someone? Yes
100.Tried a weight loss program? No, unless you count codeine as a weight-loss program.
101.Jumped on a trampoline? Yes. Trampolines are awesommmmme.
102.Colored in a coloring book (and had fun)? Oh yeah!
103.Had a bubble bath? Yes
104.Been on a plane? Yes
105.Been on a boat? Yes
106.Been on a train? Can't say I have.
107.Been in a car accident? Nope (knock on wood!)
108.Ridden an elephant? No, but it does sound fun. I want to!
109.Made a web page? I've made a MySpace if that counts but I'm not sure. Oh, and this.
110.Played with Barbies? Duh, every 5-year-old girl has.
111.Stay up all night? Yes :)
112.Shoved stuff under your bed to make your room look clean? Wellllll... sometimes.
113.Called a psychic or sex hotline? No and NO.
114.Watched Jerry Springer? Yeah. That is some crazy TV.
115.Gotten in trouble for talking in class? Yeah... :)
116.Been afraid of the dark? I still am, and I'm not afraid to admit it!
117.Been in the hospital (not visiting)? Psh. I practically live in the hospital.
118.Had stitches? Yes, eight on my foot and some from surgery.
119.Dumped someone and regretted it? At the time.
120.Gone out with more than one person at a time? Nope
121.Lied? What? Lied? Me? Never! (that was a lie)
122.Been arrested? Uh, NO.
123.Fallen asleep in class? Almost!
124.Gotten in trouble in class? Yeah.
125.Used food for something other than to eat? Yes. Homemade dough!
126.Met a celebrity? No
127.Broken the law? No
128.Ever loved someone so much it made you cry? No
129.Hated yourself? Yes
130.Been brokenhearted? No
131.Broken someone's heart? I hope not.
132.Are you a virgin? Yes
133.Done something really stupid? Yeah, duh.
134.Been arrested? Didn't you already ask this?
135.Hurt a friend? I hope not.
136.Broken a bone? No (knock on wooood!!)
137.Ever had a crush on a teacher? Noooooooooo!
Favorites
138. Why do you want to know? Why do I want to know what?
139.Guy name? Derek, Zack, Dylan
140.Girl name? Blake, Riley
141.Nationality? Uh, American?
142.Color? Pink and orange
143.Holiday? Halloween. And my birthday. Which is TODAY!!
144.Day of the week? Saturday
145.Restaurant? Cheesecake Factory, Houston's, Melting Pot
146.Fastfood restaurant? Taco Bell, Chicken Kitchen, McDonald's
147.Food? Don't know. I have a lot. If I had to choose... probably pizza?
148.Animal? Puffins!
149.Pet? Dogs
150.Store? Abercrombie, PacSun, Hollister, Delia's
151.Mall? Any mall!
152.Clothes brand? Abercrombie, Juicy Couture
153.Soda? Coke, Shirley Temple.
154.Alcohol? I don't drink.
155.Instrument? Accordion! Ohhh yeahh.
156.Season? Summer
157.Number? 11
158.Radio station? 95.5
159.Song? I have a TON.
160.Sport? Basketball
161.Vacation spot? New York, anywhere in the Carribbean
162.State? New York, North Carolina, Florida
163.Country? Europe. Oh, that's probably a continent. Okay, um, France.
164.Flower? Sunflower!
165.Perfume? SoCal, abercrombie scent, and Juicy.
166.Thing to do? Lots of stuff.
167.Actor? Uh... I don't knoww.
168.Actress? Drew Barrymore
169.Saying? "And to prove it's true, we all flew here on JetBlue."
170.Car? I don't know.
171.Month? October
172.Cartoon? Uh.
173.TV Show? American Idol, House, Private Practice, Grey's, Girls Next Door, any countdown on VH1
174.Website? MySpace, perezhilton, addictinggames
175.Book? Way too many.
176.Quality about yourself? I'm funny?
177.Your best friend? Haley and Alexa
178.Your best guy friend? Bryan
179.Your best girl friend? Haley and Alexa
180.Fruit? Pomegranates
181.Vegetable? Zucchini
182.Meat? Chicken
183.Quote? "Nobody grows up in Florida... except for maybe oranges." - Music and Lyrics AND "He's not a Nazi, he just wanted to kill all the Jews." - Haley
184.Saying? Repeat!
185.Type of movie? Chick flicks and Horror
186.Candy? Jelly Beans, anything sour, Mentos, & anything dark chocolate
187.Language? English...?
188.Magazine? Seventeen, People, Entertainment Weekly
189.CD? The Open Door - Evanescence
190.Store? Abercrombie
191.Movie? Music and Lyrics, Clueless, Mean Girls, Legally Blonde
192.Day of the week? Repeat.
193.Singer? Justin Timberlake, I guess.
194.Band? Panic! At the Disco
Misc.
195.Why are you so curious? I'M curious? Oh, no, sweetie, it doesn't go like that...
196.Like to swim? Yes
197.Like to dance? Yes
198.Have a pool? Yes
199.Have a car? No
200.Going to get a car? Four years to go...
201.Your motto? "You'll have your life back in December, Casey."
202.What do you look for in a friend? Funny, nice, able to be themselves, not backstabbing
203.What do you look for in the opposite sex? Able to be themselves, funny, sweet
204.Time you get up? It varies
205.Time you go to bed? Varies
206.What color are the sheets on your bed? Purple right now.
207.How many pillows? I sleep with two, but there's about 7.
208.Ever skip school? Yes :)
209.Have you ever been convicted of a crime? No
210.What did you eat for dinner? Fajitas!
211.What are you wearing? Shirt and jeans.
212.What movie makes you cry? The Game Plan. Oh God, so many times.
213.What book makes you cry? Bounce by Natasha Friend
214.What song makes you cry? Concrete Angel by Martina McBride
215.What/Who makes you laugh so hard you cry? Haley and 'Mean Girls'
216.What is your favorite possession? My iPod and cell phone
217.What physical, tangible possession do you want most? Don't know... all the abercrombie in the world. Kidding.
218.How badly do you want it? Stop pressuring me!!
219.Have you ever seen The Exorcist? Yes
220.How long did it take you to understand why that question is here? I still don't get it.
221.Does Christmas music played too far away from Christmas annoy you? YES.
222.How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older? I don't think I'll ever stop liking it.
223.What was the best Halloween costume you ever had? Pooh!
224.What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had? Monster Bride…it ripped.
225.What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning? None, really
226. There are no federal holidays during August-what should be put there? National Casey Day!
227. How good is your short tern memory? Good
228.How good is your short-term memory? Haha. Funny.
229.(Not very good I see, I repeated that question, did you notice?) Yes, I did, retardface.
230.How good is your long-term memory? I don't know.
231.What is your earliest memory? Stapling my finger in pre-k.
232.What is your happiest memory (other than receiving this survey)? Haha. You crack me up, really.
233.What is your strangest memory? When my stoma, like, exploded.
234.What is your worst memory? Waking up with an ostomy bag.
235.What song, movie, etc. ?
236.What song, movie, etc. ?
237.What size are your feet? 7 1/2
238.If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? Awkward
239.Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going "blind"? Knowing them, definitely.
241.Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out? I don't care. I've asked a guy out before.
242.What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? Yuckkkk. Sex gives you AIDS.
243.Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? Not that I remember. :)
244.Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking? I don't know, maybe. I hope so.
245.Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last? Yes. Sex is icky and it gives you AIDS.
246.Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69? Yes. I'm immature. Get over it.
247.Were you lying about your answer to the previous question? No :)
248.Do you actually know your Social Security Number? No
249.Do you actually know your IP address? What's that?
250.Do you know what an IP address is? No...
251.Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code? We have one of those?
252.Ever think there were too many numbers floating around in our lives? YES.
253.Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.? No, my BRAIN hurts.
254.What do you think of pi, you know, 3.14152967 etc..? Yum, pi!
255.Do you have a driver's license? Not yet.
256.Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it? Haha, no, but I know some people who do.
257.What celebrity's autograph do you want most? Um, I don't know.
258.Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who? Leelee Sobieski. Which is just great, cause she's got the weirdest freaking face.
259.If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)? Dunno. Drew Barrymore, probably.
260.Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember who they are? Yes. I saw one of those in Starbucks in New York.
261.If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter? Zac Efron, so I can find out if he's gay. Cause it sort of seems like it sometimes.
262.Do you want to be John Malkovich? That'd be creepy.
263.Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender? Sometimes, yeah.
264.What do you love most about the other gender? Humor. If you can make me laugh, I'm so yours.
265.What do you dislike most about the other gender? Lots of stuff.
266.What do you understand least about the other gender? Everything.
267.Mac or PC? Macs rule!
268.How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer or is it only as long as it works? No, I really don't care.
269.Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation? No. If you do that's sad.
270.Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone? No
271.Have you ever bid on something on eBay and regretted it later? No...
272.If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been? Probably still Casey.
273.Would you name a child of yours after you? NO WAY.
274.If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with? Leanna
275.What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? They call me Cassie
276.If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)? I don't know. Probably not.
277.Like to give hugs? YES!
278.Like to walk in the rain? Yes
279.Sleep with or without clothes on? WITH
280.Prefer black or blue pens? Black
281.Dress up on Halloween? Duhhh.
282.Sleep on your side, tummy or back? Side. Always the right because if I go left I'll leak.
283.Think you're attractive? Depends what I'm wearing.
284.Want to marry? Maybe
285.Have a goldfish? No
286.Ever have the falling dream? Yeah
287.Have stuffed animals? Yeah
288.Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? Nope. I think we get reborn.
289.Do you think God has a gender? Yes, she's a girl.
290.Do you think science counteracts religion? Um?
291.Do you believe in organized religion? I guess...
292.Where do you think we go when we die? Into some unborn baby's head.
293.How easy is it to make you laugh? Way too easy!
295.Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't? Yeah... I do...
296.Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't? Sometimes, just when I think they're really funny.
297.What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile? Pudding, Chicken finger
298.What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written? "What does raw mean?" "Chicken that hasn't been cooked?"
299.Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching, when someone's watching? Duh because I don't need no more than he said, she said.
300.What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard? Anything my sister sings. And You're Beautiful. Shudder.
301.What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better? I understand songs pretty well.
302.What song(s) are constantly in your head? Chip On My Shoulder
303.What song(s) do you think describe your personality best? Basketcase!
304.If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would you use? Um, I don't know.
305.If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used? Hey There Delilah
306.What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to? Don't knoow.
307.Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original? Yeah, but it really depends on the movie
308.Who's your favorite Star Wars character? Chewbacca, man!
309.What kind of movie do you think there should be more of? Comedy. everything's so serious these days.
310.What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of? Gory movies, war movies. Ew.
311.When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness? Taste, are you joking?
312.What's your favorite kind of cheese? All cheese!
313.What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality? That I like cheese…?
314.If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food,hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it? Probably not if I found out.
315.Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? Yeah. I'm thinking of becoming a vegetarian but I cant eat beans. =(
Friends
316.What a unique category, don't you think? Very unique.
317.Are you sure you have friends? Yes…
318.Best friend? Haley, Alexa, Leanna
319.Second-best friend? Uh... Hannah.
320.Email the most? Dunno.
321.Call the most? Haley
322.IM the most? Rory
323.Best friend of the opposite sex? Bryan
324.Best offline friend? Uh?
325.Best online friend? Dude, I have a life off the computer.
326.Which friend do you dislike the most? Rebecca
327.Person you can always confide in? Alexa
328.Person that you can talk to for 12 hours straight and never get bored? Haley and Alexa
329.In a fight or annoyed? What?
330.Friend's house you sleep at the most? Alexa, probably.
331.Friend's house you wish you could sleep at but can't? I don't know.
332.Who is the first number on your speed dial? My mommy :)
333.Who would you take away on a week vacation? Alexa. To BIRTHDAY WORLD! Where it's always your birthday :)
334.Craziest? Gina
335.Weirdest? Hannah
336.Most fun? Haley
337.Saddest? Rory
338.Quietest? Hayley
339.Who knows you the best? Haley, Leanna, and Alexa
340.Who do you know the best? Leanna, Alexa, Haley
341.Who do you like to shop with? Haley and Alexa
342.Talk with? All of them. It's kind of crucial that I talk to my friends, you know?
343.Trust the most? Alexa and Haley
344.Flirt with? Um, not the girls.
345.Laugh with? All of them
346.Give advice to? Leanna
347.Who gives you advice? Leanna and Kate
348.Best singer? ME!
349.Best athlete? Mihael
350.Who is the nicest? Hayley and Olivia
351.Who is the meanest? Rebecca
352.Best dancer? Haley!! It's cause she doesn't need no more than he said she said.
353.Best writer? MEEE. But not according to Mrs. Lynn. Grr.
354.Best smile? Hayley
355.Most creative? Haley
356.Best dressed? Gina and Olivia
357.Best shoes? Uh, I don't know.
358.Who doesn't care if they lie? All of them.
359.Who can't lie? No one.
360.Most innocent? Hayley
361.Most innocent looking? Hayley
362.Rebel? Dunno.
363.Moodiest? Rory
364.Happiest? Gina
365.Cutest? Don't know. Oh, it's so me. No it's not. I'm not sure, we're all cute. :)
Do/Are/Who's?
366. It's because I'm bored, can't you figure that out? You're a loser.
367.Religious? No
368.Try to be fashionable? Yeah, most of the time.
369.Think fashion is important? Yes.
370.Get along with your family? My parents and I get along better than me & my siblings
371.Get along with your friends? If I didn't, would they be my friends?
372.Get grounded? I haven't yet.
373.Know any foreign languages? Si.
374.Run into walls/doors? All the time!
375.Blonde? I act blonde.
376.Who do you talk to most online? You asked this!
377.Who do you talk to most on the phone? This too!
378.Are you a bum? Yeah...
379.Do you get online a lot? Yeah sort of. My AIM is broken though.
380.Do you shower? Duh.
381.Do you hate school? YESSSSSSSSS.
382.Do you have a social life? Um, yes.
383.Do you trust people easily? No
384.Have you ever lied to your best friend(s)? Yes, but I told them the truth after.
385.Are you a dare devil? No
386.Would you ever sky dive? NO FREAKING WAY. THAT I WILL NEVER EVER DO. EVER.
387.Do you like to dance? Yeah, because these are headstrong crazy days when your mind's made up and the music plays.
388.Are you funny? Yes
389.Are you a serious person? Not usually
390.Do you make friends easily? Yes
391.Do you work out? No
392.Do you like to work out? NO
393.How much can you bench press? Probably the most would be 5 pounds or so.
394.How much can you lift? Like five pounds.
395.Are you a popular person? Yes
396.Do you have plans for your future? I want to stay alive and make lots of moneyyy.
397.Do you plan to go to college? Ye
398.Do you play sports? Not really.
399.Do you like sports? Not really.
400.Do you play an instrument? No
401.Know what you want to be when you get older? Pediatric Nurse
402.Ever been out of state? Yes
403.Out of the country? Yes
404.Do you like to travel? Yes
405.What do YOU think of the way you look? I'm the cutest thing on Earth. How could anyone resist me? I don't know. ;)
406.What do YOU think about your attitude? Wowie, I'm awesome.
407.What do you think about life after death? Yup.
408.What do you think about karma? What goes around goes around goes around comes all the way back arouuuuuund, yeahhhh.
409.What do you think about love? You should keep it if you get it.
410.What do you think about fate? Sure
411.What do you think about yourself? I'm pretty darn cool.
412.What do you tell yourself if times get hard? The ostomy bag will be off in December...
413.What would you give your life for? Nothing.
414.What do you think about your first love? Um, I haven't had a first love. So I wouldn't know. But when I get a first love, I'll tell you.
415.What do you think about the first person that loved you? He's cool...?
416.What are you scared of? Fergie's face, the dark, being kidnapped... lots of things.
417.Do you cry easily? Yes
418.Who/What is something/someone that has touched you? Uh.
419.What was the saddest moment of your life? When I woke up and saw a big white growth - but oh wait, it's just an ostomy bag.
420.What would life be without friends? A big black hole of nothingness.
421.Without family? A bigger black hole of nothingness.
422.Without you? Non-existent?
423.Are you deep? Deep like the ocean? =P
424.Do you think love is once in a lifetime, or just chance? Depends who you meet.
425.Do you like your town? Sure. Except during the winter months when all the Japs and snior citizens come on vacation.
426.Do you wanna get out of your town? Yes. New York, here I come! 25th, baby.
427.What design/logo is on your mouse pad? I don't have a mouse pad.
428.What color is your mouse pad? I don't HAVE a freaking mouse pad.
429.Drink a lot of water? I guess.
430.Have a cell phone/beeper/etc.? Yeah
431.Do you like amusement parks? YEAH!
432.Have you ever been to 6 Flags? No.
433.What namebrand do you wear the most? Abercrombie
434.Do you like taking pictures? I'm like obsessed. I'm bringing my camera to my partayyyy tonight. Melting Pot. Yum.
435.Do you like getting your picture taken? Ha. No way. I like TAKING the picture. I'm a camera hog.
436.Do you have a tan? No. I'm like, white. Unless I put on blush like I did today. Then I'm... white. But a little pink, too.
437.Do you get annoyed easily? Yes.
438.What are you hobbies? Singing, laughing, shopping, being amazing.
439.Do you have your own phone/phone line? Yup.
440.Do you have any posters/pinups on your bedroom walls? Yup, one of Ashley Tisdale.
441.Are you sick of this survey yet? Oh my God yes.
442.Do you get good grades in school? Yes
443.How do you vent your anger? On other people. :)
444.Are you a role model? Yeah, to my sister.
445.Who do you look up to? My mommy
446.Who do you trust the most? My mommy
447.Do you have any piercings? No
448.Do you have any tattoos? No
449.Do you dream a lot? Yes
450.Do you daydream a lot? Yes
451.Have you had a nightmare lately? No
452.Do you have any allergies? Fish
453.Do you have any health problems? OSTOMY BAG, BABY!
454.Do you like animals? Yeah.
455.Do you have any pets? Asked this... like five times...
456.Do you like siblings? Is this a rhetorical question?
457.Do you have glasses/contacts? No
458.Do you have braces? No
459.Do you have a job? No
460.Have you ever been fired from a job? No
461.Who did YOU want to be President? In the last election, John Kerry.
462.Who would you vote for, if anyone, and why? PARIS HILTON. Cause then we'd be all "That's hot."
463.Do you have a curfew? No
464.Are you a vegetarian? No
465.Could you be a vegetarian? If I wanted. After I get the bag removed.
466.Have you ever thought about suicide? Not seriously.
467.Do you like coffee? Yuppp.
468.Do you have a sweet tooth? Yes!
469.Do you like horror movies? I love them.
470.Do you like to spend or save your money? Spend it on ABERCROMBIE. And other stuff. Like PacSun shoes and jewely and... more abercrombie.
471.Do you keep your room clean? No
472.Do yours well? Suuuuure?
473.Do you eat vegetables? Yup
474.Are you a flirt? Yes
475.Are you good at flirting? I think so
476.Do you like to go to parties? Parties... like mine? Tonight? Why, yes, I do!
477.Do you still go trick or treating? Yes! I love trick or treating! Free candy! Best holiday everrr.
478.Are you an angel or a little devil? Little Devil :)
479.Do you get along with people? Yes. Most people.
481.Have you ever won anything? Yeah. The first period class won teacher bingo.
482.Do you have a waterbed or a regular bed? Regular.
483.What size? Queen, I think.
484.Do you get bored easily? Yes
485.Do you play golf? No
486.Do you play miniature golf? Yeah!
487.Do you like tennis? No
488.Are you flexible? No
489.Are you a sweet heart? Yes :)
490.Would you like to be cloned? No one is enough
491.What are your opinions on cloning? One is enough!
493.Scaramouche,scaramouche, will you do the fandango? Sure.
494.Did you like this survey? No
495.Are you sorry you began filling it out? Yes
496.What questions do you wish it had asked? Is it your birthday today?
497.How would you have answered them? Oh yeah! And get me presents!
THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
498.When was the last time you let the people you love/people who are important to you know you love them/that they are important to you? Like, one minute ago.
499.What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know? Buy me presents cause it's my birthdayy! I don't think I've said that enough.
500.What time is it? It is… 4:53 P.M. I took some breaks.

Embarassing Moment of the Day...

2007-10-05T18:44:00.000-04:00

I've never had a REALLY embarassing moment before. Not one worth, say, writing in to Seventeen magazine for and telling them about it.

Today would probably be my most embarassing moment. Ever. In the history of Casey.

Suprisingly, it had nothing to do with my ostomy bag. But a migrane. Today, I got a migrane and couldn't concentrate on anything. Here's how it went down.

I was in Science class and we were doing an experiment to see how many drops of water could fit on a penny. I'd done this before, and I remembered the results. I was repeating them in my mind like "34, 34, 34, 34...", and my teacher called on me.
I hadn't even been paying attention half the time, and I wasn't raising my hand, but rubbing my temple to make my headache go away. So on impulse I just blurted, "Uhh, 34?". She started to write it down and then stopped and asked, "Where did you get that number from?". I was like, oh crap, did I say 34? Great, now she's gonna think someone told me what the answer was and I was cheating. So I said the all-powerful and convincing, "I don't know.". But my science teacher is smart, of course, so she said, "Yes, I think you do."
So thennn I said, trying to sound not upset and NOT like I was about to burst in to tears, "Well, I've done this experiment before." Then, instead of saying "Ok, thanks for telling the truth." like I hoped she would but knew she wouldn't, she said "Oh, well if you've already done it I guess we should just do the worksheet." and started passing out worksheets.
Well, I got totally upset. I could feel the tears backing up behind my eyes. Then, in a moment of Casey braveness, I raised my hand before I started crying and said, "Well, even if I've done it before, the other people should be abke to do it, even if I don't.". My science teacher smiled at me, nicely, not like, oh nice try. Then she said, to my complete and utter suprise, "You know what, I don't want to do a worksheet. Let's just do the experiment."
And I got SO HAPPYYY. I was about to jump out of my seat and hug her.
AND THEN, to top it all off, this girl I HATE AND DESPISE WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED, raised her hand and said:

"Well, since Casey has already done the experiment, I think she shouldn't do it."

The class' response was a bunch of dirty looks at her and mouths dropping to an '0'.

My reaction?:
WHAT THE FREAK?! I THINK I'VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH TODAY, THANK YOU. (Not out loud!)

And THEN, in a moment of super-science-teacher-ness, the science teacher said "No, it's ok. Casey can be like our resident expert."

I LOVE HER.

After class, my friend Hannah went up the girl I HATE AND DESPISE WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL and said "That was really mean, what you said about Casey today." And no GIHADWAMHAS said, "I'm just stating my opinion. I think that if she already did the experiment, she shouldn't spoil it for the rest of us."

Then another friend, Nicolette, tried to talk to her and was like, "Hey, why did you say that about Casey? She was the one who got us to do the experiment again anyway. If she wasn't a nice person, unlike SOME people, we wouldn't have even done it." Then GIHADWAMHAS just laughed in her face and walked away.

What a miserable, evil, low-life person.

One good thing came out of this: NEVER raise my hand in science class again!!

Sorry, I HAD to Share This...

2007-10-01T17:27:00.000-04:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Sorry. Impulse. I had to share that.

Math Textbook Fun

2007-09-29T12:31:00.000-04:00

The Dunder-Mifflin math textbooks make my day.

Every day after fourth period, Hannah and I fast-walk to our lockers to get our math textbooks for fifth period with Mr. Gallo.

Why, you ask?

Because of Tyrone White and his family.

In chapter two, all the word problems follow the adventures of Tyrone White and his multi-racial family and friends. Yes, I know that sounds completely racist. But it's not. It's hilarious. This is Tyrone's life story.

Tyrone White's family is very large. He has a sister named Rasheeda and a brother named Ying-tao, who hia mom and dad adopted from China. His mother is from the old country and her name is Martha. His father is an illegal immigrant from Mexico named Pedro. Pedro is a director. He's directing a movie starring his Israeli friend named Ishmael and his brother, Hershel. The White family's neighbor is a Pakistani pacifist named Zahra. Her boyfriend is a Native American tribe-leader named Eyes Like The Owl. In the apartment on top of the Whites, there's a gay couple named Joseph and Gary awaiting approval for their marriage. They share an apartment with Iraqi homophobe Ahmed. Every day, their alcoholic Irish friend Rachael and her alcoholic brother Dewey cross the street and get hit by a car, but no problem. Their friend got bit by a radioactive spider and is now Spiderman.

Fun with textbooks!

The Greatest Commercial Ever

2007-09-25T16:26:00.000-04:00

Disney Channel. How I LOVE the Disney Channel.

The geniuses that brought us amazing shows and made-for-TV movies like:
Hannah Montana (best of both worlds)
High School Musical 1 & 2 (all for one and one for all)
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody (ASHLEY TISDALE)
Jump In (push it, push it)
Corey in the House (it's a party every week)
Life with Derek (casey macdonald)

are also the same people who thought up:
That's So Raven (like, zomg, i heart fashion! lolzz)
Phineus and Ferb (putting talent to waste)
Really Short Reports (& weeee're out!)
Disney 365 (retardation)
The Movie Surfers (obnoxiousness)
and my favorite, The Lizzie McGuire Movie, with which I have a love-hate relationship. (yeah, she like totally freak out!)

Now, everyone's most favoritest DCOM (for all you un-disney-channel-watchers, that's Disney Channel Original Movie) is High School Musical. The first one was good, the second was ah-mazing. Put together in one weekend, they're unstoppable, homey. so Disney Channel has put together this commercial for the event.

(narrator man)
Are you ready...
...for the start of something new?
Because it's gonna be fabulous!
Getcha head in the game for High School Musical...
...and High School Musical Two.
Because we're all in this together.
All for one...
...breaking free.
(Zac Efron and Corbin Bleu)
Join us for High School Musical and High School 2 weekend!
(narrator man)
It's the music in you...
You can bet on it!

Like, wow. That is SO MUCH BETTER than any moment in the Lizzie McQueer movie!

Lizzie McGuire and Other Crizzap

2007-09-24T19:55:00.000-04:00

Green. What a pretty color. Like the dewy grass in front of my house. Like that amazingly gorgeous dress Ashley Tisdale wore to the VMAs. Like Hannah Montana's favorite sequined shirt.

Like my ostocrap.

Yes, everyone. Casey's toxic waste is green. Green like grass, Ashley Tisdale's dress, and Hannah Montana's t-shirt. Bright freakin' green.

But enough about that. Let's get to the good stuff, like McDonald's french fries. Yumm.

Right at this very exact moment, my sister is watching The Lizzie McGuire Movie in the living room. I. Hate. That. Movie. With a passion. I mean, really, Transformers is more believable. In case you don't watch Disney channel at 8:00 on one day every two months, The Lizzie McGuire Movie is a badly-written, badly-acted movie about Lizzie's middle school graduation. They take the outgoing 8th graders to Rome for one week. While on vacation with her ENTIRE grade, she meets Paolo, a Roman popstar who mistakes her for his missing partner, Isabella (& you'll get a kick out of this: it's pronounced Ees-ahh-beyyl-ahh). So Paolo basically stalks Lizzie until she's like, "Whatever, male version of Paula Abdul, I'll come and be your Eesahhbeyylahh." . So then, obviously, Lizzie falls madly in love with Paolo Abdul. So then it turns out that Eesahhbeyylahh can't come to some award show that Paolo Abdul signed up for. So Lizzie pretends to be Eesahhbeyylahh for her new lover-boy. I won't tell you the rest. You'll have to watch it. But the end is just as 'fantastico' as the beginning & middle.

First of all, this movie is actually really funny. Let's get that straight. But it also has more cliches than a whole book of cliches.

Amazing quotes:
"So did she, like, totally freak out?" "Yes, she totally freak out!"
"It's ok, I have this cool cheese!"
"Can we have spaghetti?" "It's like 9 in the morning." "So?" "I don't eat carbs."
"Ciao, word."
"Like, total viva! I'm loving this!"
"Look at all of you, you think I'm American! I am, how you say? Awesome?"
"But, you don't even eat carbs!" "I'd eat them if an Italian boy bought them for me!"

Finally: The fashion deigner's name is Franka Demontibikini

Bad Lyrics

2007-09-04T20:45:00.000-04:00

This is one of those rare posts with very little to do with my wonderful bag. I have been through way too much to listen to bad lyrics in songs. Here are some of my favorites.

"She made us drinks... to drink... we drunk 'em."
T-Pain, 'Bartender'. What else do you do with your drinks? Pour them on your head?

"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains."
Shakira, 'Whenever, Wherever'. This woman got a 100% on her similes and metaphors test.

"I love you like a fat kid loves cake."
50 Cent, '21 Questions'. Haley's favorite.

"You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful, it's true."
James Blunt, 'You're Beautiful'. Can you say writer's block?

"My best friend Leslie said 'Oh, she just bein' Miley'."
Miley Cyrus, 'See You Again'. Nice, Miley! If you want to break away from the 'Hannah Montana' image, tell the people that your name is MILEY in your song!

"I'm respected from Cal-i-forn-i-a way down to Japa-a-an."
Timbaland, 'Give it to Me'. Ok, um, Timbaland? I love your music and respect you and all, but Japan is not DOWN from California. It's east. Waay east. It's not down!

"I'm hot cause I'm fly, you ain't cause you not, this is why, this is why, this is why I'm hot."
Mims, 'This is Why I'm Hot'. Ohhh yeah. This guy's gotta work on his ego.

"My hump, my hum my hump my hump, my lovely lady lumps."
Black Eyed Peas, 'My Hump'. This, my friends, is what 2000+ years of civilization has brought us to.

"Like the little schoolmate in the schoolyard, we'll play jacks and Uno cards."
Fergie, 'Big Girls Don't Cry'. ACK. THIS SONG ANNOYS THE OSTOMY BAGS OUT OF ME!

"This sh*t is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S."
Gwen Stefani, 'Hollaback Girl'. My sh*t has pieces of peanuts, P-E-A-N-U-T-S.

"You make me wanna la-la, in the kitchen on the floor, I'll be your French maid, where I'll meet you at the door, I'm like an alley cat, drink the milk up I want more, you make me wanna, you make me wanna, scream."
Ashlee Simpson, 'La La'. Ok, how exactly do you la-la?

“Hey oh... listen what I say oh... I got your hey oh, now listen what I say oh."
Red Hot Chili Peppers, 'Snow (Hey Oh)'. Can you say Songwriting Under the Influence?

"Baby, cause in the dark, you can see shiny cars."
Rihanna, 'Umbrella'. Yes, Rihanna, you can. Congrats.

"Baby, if you strip, you can get a tip, cause I like you just the way you are."
Timbaland & Keri Hilson, 'The Way I Are'. Ok... might possibly be the weirdest lyric ever.

"This is the potential breakup song, our album needs just one, oh baby please, please tell me."
Aly & AJ, 'Potential Breakup Song'. Ok, um, why?

"You have me suicidal, suicidal when you say it's over."
Sean Kingston, 'Beautiful Girls'. *sniff, sniff* I smell EMO!

"Wait a minute hold on dawg... do she got a kid? (Yep) Loves some Waffle House? (Yep) Do she got a beauty mark on her left side of her mouth? (Man?) Went to Georgia Tech? (Yep) Works for TBS? (Yep)."
R Kelly & Usher, 'Same Girl'. 'Loves some Waffle House'? She doesn't sound that "fly" to me.

"And when I'm quiet you break through my shell, don't feel the need to do a rebel yell."
Hannah Montana, 'True Friend'. Does this make sense to anyone?

"Were you born in '74? Are you the kind of guy that I should ignore?"
Hilary Duff, 'Danger'. If it's not totally obvious she's talking about Joel Madden...

"So many girls be checkin' my style, checkin' my style, checkin' my style, so many girls be checkin' my style but I don't even care, no."
Ashley Tisdale, 'Not Like That'. Dear Ashley, YOU ARE NOT A GANGSTA.

"I know you’ve been waiting
But I’ve been out making babies
And like a chef making donuts and pastries
It’s time to make you sweat
Sex and sugar is the flavor
Ovens and beaters and graters
Beats made of bongos and shakers
It’s time to make you sweat."
Gwen Stefani, 'Yummy'. Sex-ay song.

"They like the way my pants, it compliments my shape."
Gwen Stefani, 'Wind it Up'. Sorry, Gwen. I love you, but no.

"Crazy Car, to lead me no where, lead me no where, actually, it's made for there, made for there...
Cra-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-zy Car
Cra-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-zy Car
Cra-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-zy Car
Cra-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-zy Car."
Naked Brothers Band, 'Crazy Car'. Lyrical. Genius.

"Next time I see you, I'm giving you a high five, 'cause hugs are over rated, just FYI."
Jonas Brothers, 'S.O.S.'. Whoaa. These dudes better not be dissing hugs!!

And the FULL SONG with the WORST LYRICS EVER WRITTEN:

One day when I came home at lunchtime,
I heard a funny noise.
Went out to the back yard to find out if it was,
one of those ratty boys.
Stood there with the neighbor called Peter,
and a Flux Capacitor.

He told me he built a time machine.
Like one in a film I've seen,
yeah ... he said...

I've been to the year 3000
not much has changed but they lived under water.
And your great great great grand daughter,
is doing fine

He took me to the future in the flux thing, and I saw everything.
Boy bands, and another one and another one ... and another one
And girls there with brown hair like star wars float above the floor

We drove around in a time machine,
like one in a film I've seen...

Said I've been to the year 3000.
Not much has changed but they lived under water,
and your great great great grand daughter,
is doing fine

I took a trip to the year 3000.
This song had gone multi-platinum
Everybody bought our 7th album.
It had outsold Kelly Clarkson.
I took a trip to the year 3000.
This song had gone multi-platinum.
Everybody bought our 7th album

He told me he built a time machine
Like one in a film I've seen,
yeah... he said...

I've been to the year 3000.
Not much has changed but they lived under water.
And your great great great grand daughter,
is doing fine

He said, I've been to the year 3000.
Not much has changed but they lived under water
And your great great great grand daughter,
is doing fine

He said, I've been to the year 3000.
Not much has changed but they lived under water
And your great great great grand daughter,
is doing fine

He said I've been to the year 3000
Not much has changed but they lived underwater,
And your great great great grand daughter
is doing fine

That is the lyrical genius that is 'Year 3000' by the Jonas Brothers. Wow. These guys should write Hallmark cards.

My great great great great great great great granddaughter is doing fine,
Casey

I Have an Emotional Attatchment to my Remaining Intestine

2007-09-04T13:57:00.000-04:00

A 3-part essay.

Hello, readers of ostomy blog! How was YOUR Labor Day weekend? Ok, enough about you, this is my blog here & I call the shots. My Labor Day weekend was truly amazing... until Sunday. Yeah. I had one good day of dancing, laughing, Hannah Montana-filled fun, then... kersplat went my weekend.

PART 1: SUNDAY
Sunday morning I woke up, expecting it to be like any other morning. It's 9:00 a.m. and I'm out of bed. I go in to the bathroom and empty my too-full ostomy bag. I wash my hands & face, brushed my teeth, put eyedrops in, & I'm ready to go. Not so much. This Sunday was unlike any other Sunday since June 11th. Why? Because the first and most important thing was simply not there: there was absolutely nothing, nada, not a single droplet of any poo in my ostomy bag. So, being me, I flipped. I cried. I told my mommy. I took the bag off. And when I took the bag off, expecting to see a perky, slimy, happy pink Stomey (that's what I call my stoma, of course), in its place was a stoma that was small, tucked in to my skin, almost purplish, and giving out no output. Until today, I had no idea what an emotional attatchment I had grown to Stomey. But when I saw it in there, all sad and tucked in and not working, I seriously started bawling. Seeing my stoma like that made me really upset. So I went into the bath for like an hour. Nothing. Then I stayed in the shower for half an hour. Still nothing. My mom & I didn't put a bag on, to let my skin & stoma breathe a little. Around four-ish, still, nothing was coming out. My mommy called the doctor & then off I went to my favorite place, Baptist Hospital.

PART 2: THE DIAGNOSIS
I went to the ER where EVERYONE asked me, "What's wrong with your eye?" Um hello, NOT the reason I'm here. I have a small bowel obstruction, people!! "It must be herpes type whatever. The non-STD one." WHO THE HELL CARES?!? I'M IN CRITICAL CONDITION AND ALL YOU BIGSHOT ER DOCTORS CARE ABOUT IS MY STUPID EYE? So, yeah. My eye looked pretty screwed up. Finally, Dr. Sola, who's not as good as Dr. Thompson but still really nice & doctor-y & stuff, came in and stuck this, like, 3-foot-long catheter thing in my stoma. I didn't even feel it. Then that night more output came in to the bag, so I was really happy about that. The next day Jake, Laura, & Peggy came and then Laura and Peggy left to talk to my much more exciting mom. And Jake stayed with me. And even though I probably bored him half to death, with ALL MY TALKING AND STUFF, he was awesome like always. I was taken in to a real room, & Dr. Thompson was there that day so he came to see me. I got a CT Scan & an x-ray, which showed I had extra scar tissue right up against my stoma which could be dangerous if left alone. He told me he'd know what to do later that day & left. We love him.

PART 3: UNDER THE KNIFE AGAIN
At around 2, Ana, one of the greatest nurses to walk the face of the Earth, came in and drew blood. Which was very painful to Casey because they used numbing cream, which I hate with a passion ever since my vein completely blew from an IV area that had been numbed. (Update: This latest vein officially blew, too. It's totally bruised.) I asked her what was going on and she told me Dr. Thompson had decided to do surgery to remove any extra scar tissue & stitch up... the leak in my pouch. Damn. I thought maybe, just maybe, he would do an all-in-one or something. That day at 4 p.m. I was in pre-op waiting for anesthesia. Last thing I remember the nurse was saying, "This will make you very...." and then boom, I was out. When I woke up the inside of my butt hurt like crazy, but there was so much drainage in the bag that I didn't care. I was fixed! And more importantly, my stoma was back to its perky self. I love you, Stomey!

How much longer till the FUN surgery?!,
Casey

Pinkeye II : Return of the Menace

2007-08-27T12:14:00.000-04:00

Someone up in Heaven and/or Hell must really have something against me.

Sunday morning I woke up feeling really good. My eye, which had been dry for the last two weeks, was looking better, and my face and hair were looking - dare I say it? - pretty amazing. So I put on my cutest pair of plaid abercrombie short-shorts (yes, I do have short shorts) and an abercrombie tank top on top of that (see the pattern here?) and went on the coomputer to check my myspace and email.

For the first two hours I was up, my day was absolutely perfect. My mommy toasted me a bagel and I went up to sit at the counter. I was silently eating my bagel and watching a Lily Allen video on Vh1 when my mommy asked, "Casey, does your eye hurt?". I looked at her funny. No, my eye didn't hurt. Why would it? This was Perfect Day, where I was looking extraordinarily cute and feeling awesome and ready to DO FUN STUFF, right?

Then I went back on the computer and talked to some people I don't really like online. I had some wet yucky stuff in my right eye (well, my right your left) so I wiped it with a tissue. Green goopy eye boogers come off. Then my eye started to itch so I rubbed it a little with a tissue and then washed my hands like an OCD person. As I walked back to the computer, my mommy goes, "Casey, look up." So I did. And then she sighed and clicked her tongue and I knew what was coming next. "Oh my God, Casey, you have pinkeye." So much for not saying it.

Like my immune system? It's totally strong. It fights off infections, too. And also, when I get rid of pinkeye, it NEVER, EVER comes back to haunt me two weeks later.

Sigh. I look like a total freak.

Ok, off the conjuctivitis subject, I found this really hilarious magazine cover on the internet.

It's truly genius, where they placed the girl's head and their little green caption bubble, don't you think? (If you're mentally retarded - oh, I'm sorry, DIFFERENTLY ABLED - and don't get it, it's supposed to be 'Parents' magazine, but with a little strategic placing it now says 'Penis'.)

I hate pinkeye and ostomy bags and contrast tests,
Casey

Oh, It's Got Bratitude...

2007-08-07T19:06:00.000-04:00

Today, I saw The Bratz Movie with Alexa.
'Twas not very good.
Thus begins... the rant-type thing.

It was an hour and a half of ostomy-gurgling fun that went sort of like a collage of these 8-year-old frendly pictures, complete with these (and waaaay too many more) songs:

Get what I mean?

Exhibit A: Deaf guy who can hear. He can hear EVERY SINGLE FREAKING WORD EVERYONE SAYS. And, he tells Yasmin she has an amazing voice. Wait, whatt? He can't HEAR, director man, REMEMBER??
Exhibit B: Yasmin doesn't have an amazing voice. She has one that resembles that of my dad's and my mom's blended together.
Exhibit C: "Yaz, now that we're not friends anymore, delete my number off your cell phone." Oh, no.

OK, I know I'm totally bashing this movie. It was tolerable at some, dare I say most, parts. But it was not a 'good' movie. It was a slightly tolerable movie that was unfairly made slightly intolerable by the fact that, for the first good hour of the movie, I was sitting in my own crap. Here's the story.

Before the movie, I'd had a McDonald's hamburger and fries, a delicacy I only get to enjoy once every, like, month. If I'm lucky. Most of the times, I get a salad... and a large fries. But the golden, crispy yumminess that are Mickey D's fries are NOT the focus of my story here. So, my stoma, being the LITTLE JOKESTER THAT IT IS, kept freaking gurgling and farting and making my bag blow up. So I asked Holly, who is like a mommy to me, if while she was buying the tickets I could use the bathroom and empty the 'contents' out of the bag. Now, you all know movie theater bathrooms are disgusting and you don't sit down on those seats because the last person who sat there could've been, like, contracting leprosy or something like that. Usually, that's not the case, but being the hypochondriac that I am, that's what I think. But having this "situation", I HAVE TO SIT DOWN, because if I don't, the liquid in my bag will pour all over me instead of in the yucky, yellow toilet water. So I put one of those clear things down. It slipped and fell in. Put another one in. It broke. Then, it slipped and fell in. The movie was starting in 10 or so minutes, so I said to myself, "Hey, if I be reeeeeeeally careful, maybe if I go into human chair mode, my poop won't spill all over me!" So I went into a human chair, you know what it is cause you do it too, opened my bag, and... whoops. Of course most of it got in the toilet, but some poopy got on my undies, down my favorite shorts, on the seat of my favorite shorts, lots of places like those. So, for the first half or so of the movie, I was sitting in my own poop. How positively Bratz-alcious.

THEN, DURING the movie, my stoma WOULDN'T SHUT UP! Maybe that's why the deaf guy went deaf. Every time I moved, it talked. When I stayed still, it talked, too! It was never quiet, I swear. Then, during the quiet, slightly more romantic but not too romantic because the 2-year-olds behind us that kicked our seats can't handle kissing moment, it let out a big one. But it was better that my stoma decided to sing along with Yasmin, because I think that Steve the Stoma is a better singer than Yasmin the Bratz-Doll-Come-To-Life. She was pretty, yes, but, come on, can't you get Ashley Tisdale or someone with slightly more 'Bratitude' to do a voice-over thing? I mean, having Bratitude is what your movie ADVERTISES.

One last thing.

We've got more BRATITUDE than you'll ever even DREAM of having.

500 Questions

2007-08-04T11:54:00.000-04:00

1.What time is it? 11:16 AM
Personal
2.Do you want to answer these? Not really
3.Name? Casey
4.Name spelled backwards? Yesac
5.What is your quest? To live?
6.Nickname? KK, CC, Kiyoshi, Case, Case-Case, Muffy
7.Age? 11
8.Hometown? Boca Raton
9.What were you born in? Delray Beach
10.Where do you live now? Boca Raton
11.What state? Florida
12.Ever going to move? Hmm…maybe when I get older
13.Would you rather live somewhere else? Not really
14.Birthdate? 10/19
15.When do you blow out your candles? Uh, October 19th?
16.Day you were born? Tuesday
17.Zodiac sign? Libra
18.Do you know what that is? Scale (heehee)
19.Sex? Female
20.Height? 5'1" and a halfish
21.Weight? 82 pounds
22.Eye color? Dark blue
23.Hair color? Red/blonde/brown
24.Any siblings? 1 brother, 1 sister
25.Names and ages? Both eight, Lindsay and Zachary
26.Do you get along with them? Not usually...
27.Any pets? 3 fishies
28.Names? Angel, Nemo, and Wanda
29.Parents? Duhh
30.Names? Stacy & Michael
31.Do you get along with them? Yup
32.Married or divorced? Married
33.How long? 15 years, I think.
34.Website? myspace and this
35.Email? Stalkersss
36.AOL s/n? No thank you
37.Yahoo s/n? Stalker
38.ICQ? I don't wanna be murdered
39.MSN? I don't wanna be raped
40.How many people are on your buddy list? 111
41.Phone number? Stalkerrrrr
42.Personality? Girly, funny, perfectionist
School
43. Do you want to answer these? Not really
44.What school do you go to? Stalker.
45.What year are you? 6th grade
46.What are you? Awesome.
47.Hardest class? Hmm... social studies, maybe.
48.Easiest class? English?
49.Most fun class? Drama, maybe. We'll see.
50.What day did school start? August 22nd
51.Do you have classes with friends? I hope so.
52.Do you have friends? I hope so!
53.Do you go to school events? Some
54.What was the last event you went to? 5th grade dance :'(
55.Do you have school spirit? Sometimes :)
56.Do you go to dances? Yup!
57.Stag or with someone? Either.
Relationships
58. Do you want to answer these? You're annoying.
59.Have a significant other? Yeah.
60.What is their name? Jake
61.How old are they? 11
62.How long have you been going out? Um, now it'll be... 3 days.
63.Have you been faithful? Yeah.
64.Do you have a crush? Um, duh.
65.Who? Um, duh.
66.Do they know you like them? Yes
67.You ever going to tell them? I did.
68.Do you have an online crush? NOO
69.Who? Your mom.
In the Past 24 Hours Have You?
70. Do you wonder why I'm asking these questions? Yeah, kind of.
71.Had a serious talk? Yes
72. Hugged someone? Yes
73.Fought with a friend? No.
74.Cried? Yes
75.Laughed? Yes
76.Made someone laugh? Yes
77.Bought something? No
78.Cut your hair? No
79.Felt stupid? Yes
80.Talked to someone you love? Yes
81.Missed someone? YESSSSS.
Have-you-ever ?
82. You want me to tell you? Tell me what?
83.Smoked? No
84.Stolen something? No
85.Done drugs? No
86.Drank? I drink water...
87.Gotten drunk? No
88.Eaten an entire box of Oreos? Nooo, eww.
89.Been dumped? No
90.Had someone be unfaithful to you? No
91.Hiked up a mountain? YES! No.
92. Stayed home on Saturday night, just because? Yeah. I do it all the time. :)
93.Been in love? Yeah
94.Seen the White House? No, because I didn't go to D.C. I hate you, colitis.
95.Seen the Eiffel Tower? Only in 'A View From the Top'
96.Try smoking? No
97.Played monopoly? If you haven't, you're not really American.
98.Seen Titanic? Yes
99.Kissed someone? Yes
100.Tried a weight loss program? No
101.Jumped on a trampoline? Yes
102.Colored in a coloring book (and had fun)? YEAH! Coloring books are hardcore, man.
103.Had a bubble bath? Yes
104.Been on a plane? Yes
105.Been on a boat? Yes
106.Been on a train? I've been on a Tri-rail...
107.Been in a car accident? Nope
108.Ridden an elephant? Nooo
109.Made a web page? Myspace.
110.Played with Barbies? LIVE ON THE EDGE! Yes.
111.Stay up all night? Yes
112.Shoved stuff under your bed to make your room look clean? Yes….
113.Called a psychic or sex hotline? Um, nooo
114.Watched Jerry Springer? Yeah.
115.Gotten in trouble for talking in class? Yeah
116.Been afraid of the dark? I still am!
117.Been in the hospital (not visiting)? Psh. I practically live in the hospital.
118.Had stitches? Yes, eight on my foot and some from surgery.
119.Dumped someone and regretted it? Yes
120.Gone out with more than one person at a time? No
121.Lied? No. See? I just lied!
122.Been arrested? No
123.Fallen asleep in class? Yeahh. Once in social studies.
124.Gotten in trouble in class? Yes
125.Used food for something other than to eat? Yes
126.Met a celebrity? No
127.Broken the law? No
128.Ever loved someone so much it made you cry? No
129.Hated yourself? Yes
130.Been brokenhearted? No
131.Broken someone's heart? I hope not.
132.Are you a virgin? Yes
133.Done something really stupid? Yeah, duh.
134.Been arrested? Didn't you already ask this?
135.Hurt a friend? I hope not!
136.Broken a bone? No
137.Ever had a crush on a teacher? Noo
Favorites
138. Why do you want to know? What do I want to know??
139.Guy name? Derek, Zack, Dylan
140.Girl name? Rebecca, Blake, Riley
141.Nationality? wtf?
142.Color? Pink and orange
143.Holiday? Halloween
144.Day of the week? Saturday
145.Restaurant? Cheesecake Factory, Houston's, Melting Pot
146.Fastfood restaurant? Taco Bell, Chicken Kitchen, McDonald's
147.Food? Don't know. I have a lot.
148.Animal? Penguins!
149.Pet? Dogs
150.Store? Abercrombie
151.Mall? Any mall!
152.Clothes brand? Abercrombie
153.Soda? Coke
154.Alcohol? Don't drink
155.Instrument? Guitar.
156.Season? Fall
157.Number? 100
158.Radio station? 95.5 and 100.7
159.Song? Livin' on a Prayer - Bon Jovi, Potential Breakup Song - Aly & AJ, There's A Reason These Tables are Numbered Honey You Just Haven't Thought of it Yet - Panic! At the Disco
160.Sport? Basketball
161.Vacation spot? New York, anywhere in the Carribbean
162.State? New York, North Carolina, Florida
163.Country? America?
164.Flower? Sunflower!
165.Perfume? With Love
166.Thing to do? Lots of stuff.
167.Actor? Zac Efron?
168.Actress? Drew Barrymore
169.Saying? "It has come to my attention that they are trying to switch our toilet paper from Charmin... to generic. Everyone opposed to this switch, say I." I watched Legally Blonde yesterday.
170.Car? Don't know. Ask a boy.
171.Month? October
172.Cartoon? Spongebob!
173.TV Show? American Idol, House, Parental Control, The Soup, any countdown on VH1
174.Website? myspace.com, bored.com
175.Book? I have too much!!
176.Quality about yourself? I'm funny?
177.Your best friend? Haley and Alexa
178.Your best guy friend? Rory
179.Your best girl friend? Haley and Alexa
180.Fruit? Pomegranates
181.Vegetable? Zucchini
182.Meat? Chicken
183.Quote? "Nobody grows up in Florida... except for maybe oranges." - Music and Lyrics AND "He's not a Nazi, he just wanted to kill all the Jews." - Haley
184.Saying? Repeat!
185.Type of movie? Chick flicks and Horror
186.Candy? Jelly Beans, Nerds, Spree, & anything chocolate
187.Language? English?
188.Magazine? Seventeen, People
189.CD? The Open Door - Evanescence
190.Store? Abercrombie
191.Movie? Music and Lyrics, Clueless, Mean Girls, Legally Blonde
192.Day of the week? Saturday
193.Singer? Justin Timberlake
194.Band? Panic! At the Disco
Misc.
195.Why are you so curious? wtf?
196.Like to swim? Yes
197.Like to dance? Yes
198.Have a pool? Yes
199.Have a car? No
200.Going to get a car? In 5 years…
201.Your motto? "I hate my ostomy bag."
202.What do you look for in a friend? Funny, nice, able to be themselves
203.What do you look for in the opposite sex? Able to be themselves, funny, sweet
204.Time you get up? It varies
205.Time you go to bed? Varies
206.What color are the sheets on your bed? Aqua
207.How many pillows? I sleep with two, but there's about 7.
208.Ever skip school? Yes
209.Have you ever been convicted of a crime? No
210.What did you eat for dinner? Chicken, pasta, and salad
211.What are you wearing? Shirt and sweats
212.What movie makes you cry? Cheaper by the Dozen, when the kid runs away…that kills me
213.What book makes you cry? Perfect by Natasha Friend
214.What song makes you cry? Concrete Angel by Martina McBride
215.What/Who makes you laugh so hard you cry? Haley and 'Mean Girls'
216.What is your favorite possession? My iPod
217.What physical, tangible possession do you want most? Don't know
218.How badly do you want it? Stop pressuring me!!
219.Have you ever seen The Exorcist? Yes
220.How long did it take you to understand why that question is here? I still don't get it
221.Does Christmas music played too far away from Christmas annoy you? Yes
222.How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older? 40ish?
223.What was the best Halloween costume you ever had? Pooh!
224.What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had? Monster Bride…it ripped.
225.What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning? None, really
226. There are no federal holidays during August-what should be put there? National Casey Day!
227. How good is your short tern memory? Good
228.How good is your short-term memory? Haha. Funny.
229.(Not very good I see, I repeated that question, did you notice?) Yes, I did.
230.How good is your long-term memory? I don't know.
231.What is your earliest memory? Stapling my finger in pre-k
232.What is your happiest memory (other than receiving this survey)? I have a lot
233.What is your strangest memory? When my stoma, like, exploded.
234.What is your worst memory? Waking up with an ostomy bag.
235.What song, movie, etc. ?
236.What song, movie, etc. ?
237.What size are your feet? 7 1/2
238.If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? Awkward
239.Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going "blind"? Knowing them
241.Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out? I don't care. I've asked a guy out before.
242.What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? Yuck
243.Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? Not that I remember
244.Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking? I don't know, I'm not exactly psychic Casey
245.Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last? Yes. Sex is icky and it gives you AIDS.
246.Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69? Yes. I'm immature. Get over it.
247.Were you lying about your answer to the previous question? No... :)
248.Do you actually know your Social Security Number? No
249.Do you actually know your IP address? What's that?
250.Do you know what an IP address is? No
251.Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code? We have one of those?
252.Ever think there were too many numbers floating around in our lives? YES
253.Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.? No, my BRAIN hurts.
254.What do you think of pi, you know, 3.14152967 etc..? It's easy.
255.Do you have a driver's license? No
256.Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it? No
257.What celebrity's autograph do you want most? Um, I don't know.
258.Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who? Leelee Sobieski
259.If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)? Dunno. Drew Barrymore, probably.
260.Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember who they are? Yes
261.If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter? I don't knoow.
262.Do you want to be John Malkovich? That'd be creepy.
263.Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender? Not really.
264.What do you love most about the other gender? I don't know.
265.What do you dislike most about the other gender? Lots of stuff.
266.What do you understand least about the other gender? Everything.
267.Mac or PC? Macs rule!
268.How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer or is it only as long as it works? No, I really don't care.
269.Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation? No
270.Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone? No
271.Have you ever bid on something on eBay and regretted it later? No
272.If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been? Probably still Casey
273.Would you name a child of yours after you? NO
274.If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with? Leanna
275.What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? They call me Cassie
276.If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)? I don't know
277.Like to give hugs? YES!
278.Like to walk in the rain? Yes
279.Sleep with or without clothes on? WITH
280.Prefer black or blue pens? Black
281.Dress up on Halloween? Duhhh
282.Sleep on your side, tummy or back? Side
283.Think you're attractive? Sometimes.
284.Want to marry? Maybe
285.Have a goldfish? No
286.Ever have the falling dream? Yeah
287.Have stuffed animals? Yeah
288.Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? Nope. I think we get reborn.
289.Do you think God has a gender? Yes, she's a girl.
290.Do you think science counteracts religion? WTF?
291.Do you believe in organized religion? No
292.Where do you think we go when we die? Into some unborn baby's head
293.How easy is it to make you laugh? Way too easy
295.Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't? Yeah sometimes
296.Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't? No
297.What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile? Pudding, Chicken, Home dizzle
298.What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written? "What does raw mean?" "Chicken that hasn't been cooked?"
299.Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching, when someone's watching? Duh because I don't need no more than he said, she said.
300.What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard? Anything my sister sings
301.What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better? I understand songs pretty well.
302.What song(s) are constantly in your head? Livin' on a Prayer
303.What song(s) do you think describe your personality best? Basketcase!
304.If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would you use? Um, I don't know.
305.If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used? Hey There Delilah
306.What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to? Don't knoow.
307.Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original? Yeah, but it really depends on the movie
308.Who's your favorite Star Wars character? Chewbacca, duhhh
309.What kind of movie do you think there should be more of? Comedy. everything's so serious these days.
310.What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of? War movies
311.When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness? Taste, are you joking?
312.What's your favorite kind of cheese? All cheese!!!!!
313.What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality? That I like cheese…?
314.If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food,hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it? Probably not if I found out.
315.Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? Yeah. I'm thinking of becoming a vegetarian but I cant eat beans. =(
Friends
316.What a unique category, don't you think? Very unique.
317.Are you sure you have friends? Yes…
318.Best friend? Haley and Lexa
319.Second-best friend? Leanna?
320.Email the most? Dunno.
321.Call the most? Haley
322.IM the most? Rory
323.Best friend of the opposite sex? Rory
324.Best offline friend? Offline??
325.Best online friend? Online??
326.Which friend do you dislike the most? Rebecca
327.Person you can always confide in? Haley
328.Person that you can talk to for 12 hours straight and never get bored? Haley and Lexa
329.In a fight or annoyed? Annoyed at Rebecca
330.Friend's house you sleep at the most? Alexa?
331.Friend's house you wish you could sleep at but can't? I don't know
332.Who is the first number on your speed dial? My mommy :)
333.Who would you take away on a week vacation? Haley…to SWITZERLAND! It's neutral there and they make very nice watches. And Sanjaya doesn't exist there.
334.Craziest? Gina
335.Weirdest? Me!
336.Most fun? Haley
337.Saddest? Rory…hehehehe
338.Quietest? Hayley
339.Who knows you the best? Haley & Leanna
340.Who do you know the best? Leanna, Alexa, Haley
341.Who do you like to shop with? Haley
342.Talk with? All of them, duhhh
343.Trust the most? Alexa and Haley
344.Flirt with? Um, not the girls.
345.Laugh with? All of them
346.Give advice to? Leanna
347.Who gives you advice? Haley and Kate
348.Best singer? ME!
349.Best athlete? Mihael
350.Who is the nicest? Hayley and Olivia
351.Who is the meanest? Rebecca
352.Best dancer? Haley!! It's cause she doesn't need no more than he said she said.
353.Best writer? MEEE
354.Best smile? Hayley
355.Most creative? Haley
356.Best dressed? Gina and Olivia
357.Best shoes? Leannna! I want your shoes! And Olivia, she has new shoes every week!!!
358.Who doesn't care if they lie? All of them.
359.Who can't lie? No one.
360.Most innocent? Hayley
361.Most innocent looking? Hayley
362.Rebel? Dunno.
363.Moodiest? Rory?
364.Happiest? Gina
365.Cutest? Um, dunno.
Do/Are/Who's?
366. It's because I'm bored, can't you figure that out? You're a loser.
367.Religious? No.
368.Try to be fashionable? Yeah, most of the time.
369.Think fashion is important? Yes.
370.Get along with your family? Most of the time
371.Get along with your friends? No duh if I didn't they wouldn't be my friends.
372.Get grounded? I haven't yet.
373.Know any foreign languages? Si.
374.Run into walls/doors? All the time!
375.Blonde? I act blonde.
376.Who do you talk to most online? Rory
377.Who do you talk to most on the phone? Haley…YOU ASKED THESE ALREADY.
378.Are you a bum? I don't know
379.Do you get online a lot? Yeah sorta
380.Do you shower? Yes!
381.Do you hate school? Not hate.
382.Do you have a social life? Yes…?
383.Do you trust people easily? No
384.Have you ever lied to your best friend(s)? Yes
385.Are you a dare devil? No
386.Would you ever sky dive? NO FREAKING WAY
387.Do you like to dance? Yeah because these are headstrong crazy days when your mind's made up and the music plays!
388.Are you funny? Yes
389.Are you a serious person? Not usually
390.Do you make friends easily? Yes
391.Do you work out? Not at a gym
392.Do you like to work out? No
393.How much can you bench press? Zero
394.How much can you lift? Zero
395.Are you a popular person? Yes
396.Do you have plans for your future? I want to live.
397.Do you plan to go to college? Yess
398.Do you play sports? Not really.
399.Do you like sports? Sort of.
400.Do you play an instrument? No
401.Know what you want to be when you get older? No
402.Ever been out of state? Yes
403.Out of the country? Yes
404.Do you like to travel? Yes
405.What do YOU think of the way you look? I'm ok.
406.What do YOU think about your attitude? I'm AMAZING
407.What do you think about life after death? Yup.
408.What do you think about karma? What goes around comes around.
409.What do you think about love? You should keep it if you get it.
410.What do you think about fate? Sure
411.What do you think about yourself? AMAZING
412.What do you tell yourself if times get hard? But just believe me girl someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar...
413.What would you give your life for? Nothing
414.What do you think about your first love? Um, I don't know?
415.What do you think about the first person that loved you? He's cool?
416.What are you scared of? Fergie's face, the dark... lots of things.
417.Do you cry easily? Yes
418.Who/What is something/someone that has touched you? Haley =)
419.What was the saddest moment of your life? Ostomyyyy.
420.What would life be without friends? A big black hole of nothingness
421.Without family? Also a big black hole of nothingness
422.Without you? Non-existent?
423.Are you deep? Deep like the ocean?
424.Do you think love is once in a lifetime, or just chance? Depends who you meet. But love is more a state of mind.
425.Do you like your town? Yeah I guess
426.Do you wanna get out of your town? Not really
427.What design/logo is on your mouse pad? I don't have a mouse pad.
428.What color is your mouse pad? I don't HAVE a mouse pad.
429.Drink a lot of water? Yeah
430.Have a cell phone/beeper/etc.? Yeah
431.Do you like amusement parks? YEAH!
432.Have you ever been to 6 Flags? No.
433.What namebrand do you wear the most? Abercrombie
434.Do you like taking pictures? Yesssss!!!!
435.Do you like getting your picture taken? Sorta
436.Do you have a tan? No I'm like, white.
437.Do you get annoyed easily? Yes
438.What are you hobbies? Singing, basketball, shopping, being amazing
439.Do you have your own phone/phone line? I USED TO
440.Do you have any posters/pinups on your bedroom walls? Nope
441.Are you sick of this survey yet? Yes, kind of.
442.Do you get good grades in school? Yes
443.How do you vent your anger? On other people. Like Haley.
444.Are you a role model? No. And if I am I shouldn't be.
445.Who do you look up to? My mommy
446.Who do you trust the most? My mommy
447.Do you have any piercings? No
448.Do you have any tattoos? No
449.Do you dream a lot? Yes
450.Do you daydream a lot? Yes
451.Have you had a nightmare lately? No
452.Do you have any allergies? Fish
453.Do you have any health problems? OSTOMY BAG, BABY!
454.Do you like animals? Not really
455.Do you have any pets? Asked this...
456.Do you like siblings? ARE YOU KIDDING?
457.Do you have glasses/contacts? No
458.Do you have braces? No
459.Do you have a job? No
460.Have you ever been fired from a job? No
461.Who did YOU want to be President? John Kerry
462.Who would you vote for, if anyone, and why? I dunno
463.Do you have a curfew? No
464.Are you a vegetarian? No
465.Could you be a vegetarian? If I wanted. After I get the bag removed.
466.Have you ever thought about suicide? Not seriously.
467.Do you like coffee? I HEART STARBUCKS.
468.Do you have a sweet tooth? Yes!
469.Do you like horror movies? I love them!
470.Do you like to spend or save your money? Spend it on ABERCROMBIE
471.Do you keep your room clean? No
472.Do yours well? WTF
473.Do you eat vegetables? Yup
474.Are you a flirt? Yes
475.Are you good at flirting? I think so
476.Do you like to go to parties? Yessssssssss
477.Do you still go trick or treating? Yes I love trick or treating! Free candy!
478.Are you an angel or a little devil? Little Devil :)
479.Do you get along with people? Yes
480.Have you ever just started dancing/singing in the middle of somewhere? Duhhh
481.Have you ever won anything? Noo
482.Do you have a waterbed or a regular bed? Regular
483.What size? Queen?
484.Do you get bored easily? Yes
485.Do you play golf? Noo
486.Do you play miniature golf? Yeah!
487.Do you like tennis? No
488.Are you flexible? No
489.Are you a sweet heart? Yes :)
490.Would you like to be cloned? No one is enough
491.What are your opinions on cloning? One is enough!
493.Scaramouche,scaramouche, will you do the fandango? Wtf?
494.Did you like this survey? No
495.Are you sorry you began filling it out? Yes
496.What questions do you wish it had asked? Are you awesome?
497.How would you have answered them? Oh yeah!
THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
498.When was the last time you let the people you love/people who are important to you know you love them/that they are important to you? Like, one minute ago.
499.What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know? I love you!
500.What time is it? It is…1:24. Two hours.

Sunday Six (why not?)

2007-07-29T18:26:00.000-04:00

Six Things That Disney Channel Did That Were Stupid

1. In 'High School Musical', Gabriella and Troy bond over the theatre... when Troy's a basketball star and Gabriella's a math genius.

2. Cast Jesse McCartney as Hannah Montana's boyfriend in an episode. I mean, ew!

3. Leak, like, 5 songs from High School Musical 2 before the movie aired.

4. How characters are never allowed to kiss anyone, and if they do, it's weird and forced looking.

5. How RELATIONSHIPS DON'T REALLY GO WRONG ON THE SECOND DAY, JAKE RYAN. YOU WERE SO CUTE TOGETHER!!!

6. That's So Raven is retarded. They should tell Raven, "Lose 10 pounds and maybe we'll think about giving you your show back when you're healthy and not obese-looking."

The end!

Thursday Thirteen, Vol. 1

2007-07-27T21:52:00.000-04:00

I know, it's Friday...

Thirteen Things I DESPISE.

1. The way my brother just TOTALLY played the 'poor, unloved, innocent little angel of a brother' card when I said I didn't like him. But I have a right to say that. (Jake, back me up here.)

2. The way Zack goes, "They're waaaatchiiing..." every 5 seconds.

3. When Zack plays his MLB games in his mind, but says them out loud. Like, he'll be swinging his mini wooden bat around the living room, going, "And now, Zachary Mintz gets a home run! And Derek Jeter slides on to home! Wooo-hooo!"

4. The way my mom just went, "You know what, Casey... -sigh-" when she saw that the first three were about Zachary.

5. How retarded pinkeye is. Er, was.

6. How annoyingly addicting this is: http://bored.com/boomshine/index.htm

7. How Boosts are so difficult to get down when they sink a half a degree in temperature.

8. The birds that live in our chimney for a few weeks every year.

9. The fact that everyone in the universe seems to get this except me:

10. That the Gay Barbie Song is stuck in my head!!!!!!!

11. WARNING: RANT COMING. You know what, people? I was the first person to discover 'Hey There Delilah', ok? The song is THREE YEARS OLD. THREE! And everyone's saying, "Like, oh em gee, the song is sooooo new!" It's not, ok? And they have, like, 2 or 3 cd's. And other amazing songs. So don't tell me it's new, or you had it on your myspace first, or it's their first single, or only song, or whatever. I've heard it all. RANT DONE.

12. How badly I want to see 'I Know Who Killed Me', that new Lindsay Lohan movie, and that I know that no one will take me.

13. How my surgery date went from Friday, to Monday, to God-freaking-knows-when-day. And how it could be a couple weeks, or a couple months. I don't WANT an ostomy bag anymore! The only thing that works to keep the bag on is making weird ooze come out of the wafer part. I just want it to be over already.

For boomshine games and no ostomy bags,
Casey

A Song

2007-07-25T15:57:00.000-04:00

So itchy, so crusty
My eye is swollen
I look like a retard
Cause my right eye won't open (well, my right, your left)
The weather is crappy
Every single day
And to go outside
You need a lightning pole-ay (you know what, it had to rhyme with day)
I like how Kelly Ripa
After having two kids
Says she lost the weight
Just from breast-feeding... uhh, her kids...
But not that it matters
Oh, and, by the way
Screw Fridays, they're stupid
Cause...
I'M GETTING MY SURGERY ON MONDAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am gonna be FIERCE.
Like, so fierce, Tyra Banks is gonna hunt me down and be like, "Giiirl, your pictures are FIERCE."
Like this one.

I'm gonna be even CUTER without my ostomy bag.

No one is gonna be able to resist me.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,
Casey (yesss!!)

Just to Add to My Torture...

2007-07-25T14:54:00.000-04:00

WARNING: THIS BLOG IS A COMPLETE RANT. IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE THE RAGE OF AN OSTOMATE WHOSE LIFE HAS BEEN TURNED COMPLETELY UPSIDE-DOWN BY MORE TORTURE, DO NOT READ ON.

So, my blog readers of America, what did YOU do today? PLEASE, do tell.

Guess what I did today? Just so you know, my I was capitalized. And BOLDED. And UNDER-FREAKIN-LINED.

I woke up with a swollen EYE. AGAIN. And today, it was CRUSTY AND WET AND GROSS. So my mommy told me to look up, and she said, "Yup, you have pinkeye." So we called the doctor, and it turns out that, YES, I HAVE pinkeye.

So, my blog readers of America, does YOUR LIFE suck as much as MINE???

I DON'T THINK SOOOOO.

Ok, my complete rant is over. That was a bad one, too.

NOW, thoughts of the moment.

1. My eye freaking burns.
2. Heidi Klum is gorgeous.
3. Nicolas Cage is NOT HOT. He's GROSS AND OLD AND LOOKS LIKE THAT MAN IN KENDALL WHO WALKED IN TO THE PORN SHOP.
4. Every morning
Every evening
We got fun
So inviting, so exciting
And we got fun
Do as you like, dear
There's so much to choose
We've got it all
On our funship cruise
Great weather
Together
Carnival's got more fun
5. THAT, my friends, was the NEW Carnival Funship song, which I have ALREADY memorized!!
6. Supersize Me is awesomely disgusting, but today I had McDonald's fries, and they're goooood.

Cause Carnival's got more fun,
Casey

I'm Too Sexy For This Blog

2007-07-24T21:13:00.001-04:00

Today, as I was watching VH1's 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs... Ever (go here: http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/50_most_awesomely_bad_songs/series_countdown.jhtml if you have strong ears) I came across THIS little beauty:

You know you love it. You know you do.

So comedians and actors and staffers at 'Blender' magazine make these little hilarious comments on the song. Like, for 'Cotton-Eyed Joe', one comedian said, "If you lock a redneck and a Swedish girl in a closet with crystal meth and a drum machine, this is what you'd get." Funny, right?

Side note: Goddammit, my 'T' button isn't working! I have to press extra hard. And lucky me, 'T' is in, like, every single word in the English language!

OK, back to my story. So thennnnnnn they were talking about how 'I'm too sexy for ______ (fill in the blank)' became the biggest catch phrase ever. So this one guy was like, "Soon enough, I was too sexy for my refridgerator, I was too sexy for my neighbor's dog, and I think even my grandma got in to it. She went around saying, 'I'm too sexy for my ostomy bag.'"

KIND OF LIKE ME! I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY OSTOMY BAG, TOO!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and, I found an eharmony for ostomates. Check this out:

Till I'm jus too sexy for my ostomy bag that Dr. Thompson just HAS TO REMOVE IT (new comes tomorrow!!),
Casey

I Love Everyone or, I'm Torturing my Best Friend

2007-07-23T19:19:00.000-04:00

If you're reading this, I probably love you.

I love the way you read my blog. I love the way you comment (and if you don't, you probably should). I love the way you laugh when you read the adventures of my torture and tumultuous midnight bag-changes. But mostly, I love the way my best friend, Alexa, is being tortured by THIS conversation:

Alexa: omgg wait what/
Alexa: what did they do 2 you
Me: omgggg alexa
Me: it was the most uncomfortable experience of my LIFE.
Me: they stuck a rubber thing up my butt and like inserted this nasty red stuff into my j-pouch (which is where my poop will go) and then told me to hold it in and then i couldn't anymore and it all came out... and they kept the rubber thing in my butt
Alexa: ewwwww dude ur grossing me out!
Me: and then they took it out, and i'm leaking so much red stuff you would swear i got my period, but it's out of my butt.
Alexa: lol well i can tell u it comes out of the front u idiot!
Me: soooo thennn i went to my most FAVORITE doctor/surgeon in the UNIVERSE, and he STUCK HIS LATEX GLOVED FINGER UP MY FREAKING BUTT. TWO THINGS UP MY BUTT TODAY!!!
Me: but THEN, he felt my pouch and said the most WONDERFULLY AMAZING THING EVER.
Alexa: omgg r u ok!
Alexa: wait r tey reversing it early/
Me: IF THE POUCH STUDY WITH THE RED CRAP GOES OK, I COULD HAVE MY SURGERY EITHER THIS FRIDAY OR A WEEK FROM FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I'M SOOOOO EXCITEDDDDDD!!!!
Alexa: yayyyy
Casey: no more LEAKS! no more waking up at four to change bags! no more stinking up bathrooms!

There's more, but I think I've embarassed myself enough.

Me and Lexa have tons of fun together

but, strangely, had more fun without my ostomy bag.

WHICH DOESN'T LEAK ANYMORE (YET)!!!

And MORE good news. I know what you're thinking: "Oh my goodness, Casey, MORE good news? What could POSSIBLY be better than your bag not leaking?"

Well, friends, family, and everyone else: Soon enough, I MAY NOT EVEN HAVE A BAG TO LEAK IN TO!!!!!

That's RIGHT, people, if all goes well on the test I did today (which I explained up there, in my conversation with Lexa), I MIGHT JUST have my surgery THIS FRIDAY!!! Or the Friday after that Friday. But whatever.

And now, because I've been so good this whole blog, for my rant.
My eye is swollen, and it has been all day. And it's so STUPID, because my eye, like, itches and it's all swollen and stuff. It's ANNOYING.

Done.

The world loves me and not my ostomy bag,
Casey

Yes, I Am in the Freaking Danger Zone, OK?!

2007-07-22T12:25:00.000-04:00

On Wednesday, my mommy and I went to the pool with Laura and Jake, two of my most favorite people. On the car ride back, we were talking about the movie Top Gun (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092099/) which I had never seen. My mom was explaining what it was about, and I was still confused. Laura and Jake had just seen it, Jake for the first time, and ALL THE WAY HOME, THE ENTIRE TIME, he was singing, "Hiiiighwaaay tooo theeee DANGER ZONE..." over and over. And at first, I was like, "STOP SINGING." To myself of course. But then, I thought, if he's singing this over and over, it's gotta be a catchy song. So last night, my whole family minus my sister went over to their house for pizza, and this amazing heavenly dark chocolate cake that Laura made, and Top Gun. We were late, of course, because my wafer leaked, of course, and we had to change it, of course. After my daddy told his story about the plane backup in New York, we started the movie. Sure enough, opening credits, guitar kicks in and suddenly, the room is filled with "Hiiiiighwaaay toooo theee DANGER ZONE" from whatever 80's singer it might have been.

So then, we're watching the movie. About half an hour, maybe less, into the movie, I hear guitars. Then, I hear, once again, "Hiiiiighwaaaay toooo theee DANGER ZONE".

The movie is really great, except they keep playing the five opening bars of 'Take My Breath Away', like, 25 billion times and never actually play the full song. Then suddenly, the sex scene comes, and they play the song. Thanks, Top Gun. Thanks a lot.

Soo thenn, we watch the rest of the movie (and we also simultaneously watch Olivia, Jake's adorable and hilarious little 2-year-old sister).

End credits start rolling. I hear guitar. I hear drums. I hear... "Hiiiiighwaaaaay tooo theee DANGER ZONE..."

www.blogthings.com

2007-07-20T20:02:00.000-04:00

So I found this website where you take quizzes and they have the most hilarious quizzes ever. I took a couple of my favorites for you...

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are very independent and self-centered. You don't solve other people's problems - and you don't expect them to solve yours.

Your idea of fashion is jeans and a t-shirt. You're always cute and comfortable.

You have the perfect blend of confidence and class. You're proud of who you are - but you don't broadcast it.

In relationships, you tend to take care of your needs first. You can only be with someone who's as independent as you are.

What Do Your Bathroom Habits Say About You?

You Are 7 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

You Are 7 Up

Understated and subtle, people warm up to you slowly.
But once they're hooked, they can't imagine going back to anyone else!

Your best soda match: Diet Coke

Stay away from: Mountain Dew

What Kind of Soda Are You?

You Are 12% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul.

You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

I like the fact that I live in my mom's basement.

Scar Problems and Yawns

2007-07-19T11:32:00.000-04:00

Picture for the day:

As you can see, I'm tiiiiireeeed. I'm yawning a lot today, and it's really uncomfortable because I have a sore throat, so it hurts really bad when I yawn.

So, from my surgery, there's a scar next to the stoma that's SUPPOSED to be stitched up. But one day when my mommy and I were ever-so-gently ripping off the wafer, the top layer of stitches came out and revealed a nasty, pussy, oozy scar. But YESTERDAY, in our quest to take the sticker off in the shower, all the pus came out, revealing a scar that's like, half an inch deep. You can actually see the second layer of stitches. Like, inside of me. It's disgustinggggg. And so, whenever my bag leaks, it leaks into the scar because it's right next to the stoma, it's like a hole, and we can't put anything by it in fear of infecting it, and that would suck. And hurt. So now, I'm so afraid of crap leaking in to my scar, that all day I either sit up a little bit with my right knee up, or lean to my left. And I sleep on my left side all night, which can get uncomfortable, but it's worth it.

I always think something's leaking. This morning, I woke up and emptied my best friend that I really don't like that much, and there was YELLOWISH STUFF BY THE SCAR AREA. So, angrily I called my mommy in to the bathroom where I was sitting on the toile with my poop under me in the water, and I said, "LOOK! I was on my left side ALL NIGHT and it STILL LEAKS!" To which my mommy leaned down to look at it a little and was like, "Um, Casey? Could it be just stuff from the inside of the scar?" Which made more sense. A lot more sense. So I didn't go insane, but it's SO UNCOMFORTABLE when I poop because it always feels like it's going everywhere, like splattering, and I always think it's leaking in to the scar. And it might be and it might not be, but you know, I'm leaving this sticker on till I know for sure because it freaking HURTS when we have to pull it off.

Till scars are stitched and nothing leaks,
Casey

It's Come to This.

2007-07-17T20:02:00.000-04:00

I have decided that every time I blog or check my blog, I'm going to take a picture of me and show you my progress from tired, skinny Casey (today) to- hopefully- healthy and ready-for-school Casey.

So, today.

Oh, and

.

That's what my pants looked like at 8:00 this evening.
Ahh, what leaky liquid crap does to abercrombie sweatpants. And, basically, any other pants.

I'm gonna go change my bag now, because it's gotten so wet that even I'm beginning to think I might have peed in my pants.

Till the velcro bottom stop leaking,
Osto-Casey

Commercials

2007-07-16T19:23:00.001-04:00

Every morning
Every evening
Ain't we got fun?
Not much money
Oh but honey
Ain't we got fun?
Do as you like, dear
There's so much to choose
We've got it all here
On our fun ship cruise!

And in the IHOP Strawberry Serenade commercials, the girl he's 'serenading' is Julie from Friday Night Lights.

The commercial where the man is singing in a city and is holding his throat and sings, "My singing took me far, but I used to smoke cigars, and you can't sing worth a heck, with a big hole in your neck, all cause I smoked cigarettes." has stopped more people from doing drugs than any other anti-smoking commercial.

NAUSEA, HEARTBURN, INDIGESTION, UPSET STOMACH, DIHARREA! Yay, Pepto-Bismol!

There are 70,000 different types of rice. There are 71,000 different types of mosquitoes.
Fun Fact from your ostomy friend who has a bad case of the hiccups,
Casey

Leaky Situation

2007-07-16T18:20:00.000-04:00

Hi, my name is Casey, and I haven't peed in my pants for 10 years.
Hi, my name is Casey, and it hasn't looked like I wet my pants since I last looked at my sweats.

What I mean is...
THE BOTTOM OF MY OSTOMY BAG LEAKS. AND I PUIT LISTERINE IN IT, SO IT'S YELLOW AND IT FREAKING LOOKS LIKE PEE.

I haven't wet my pants since I was, like, 2. But today, in my white VS sweatpants, it looks like I wet my pants because the velcro on the bottom of my bag doesn't always hold my liquid shit so well.

OSTOMY FUN!

Pretty hilarious stand-up about a man with an ostomy.

What Casey Has Learned, Part 1

2007-07-08T18:30:00.000-04:00

Here are a couple things I learned from having my ostomy bag.

1. Peach tea, Berry tea, and Orange tea are yuck. Mint, Lemon, Pomegranate, or Chamomile please.

2. I leak only from the right side. Which, fortunately, is not the comfortable sleeping side. But if, accidentally, in the middle of the night, I land on the right side for more than a couple hours, hold your nose. Also, the bottom of the bag leaks yellow liquid that looks like pee, and of course the ostomy bag ends right where I would be PEEING from, so people are asking me what the yellow stuff by my "pee-pee area" is. I'm like "Oh, it's my poop. Better go empty my bag now!"

3. Nobody wants to see your ostomy bag. Nobody will ask to see your ostomy bag. Nobody has plans to see your ostomy bag. To sum it up, make sure your shirt covers your ostomy bag.

4. When you have an ostomy bag, you are no longer cute like this.

People are stopping the 'Oh, she's so cute!' thing and starting with some new, more fitting words for someone who, a. is not cute anymore, and stopped being cute around age 9, when she started wearing abercrombie, b. craps in a bag that you can sometimes see sticking out from the bottom of her shirt, and c. has yellow spots on her shorts that make people suspect that a girl who is going to be 12 in October had an accident in her big-kid underwear. People have resorted to the following, and I list telling you that people have ACTUALLY said these things to me.
"You look so good!"
"You've grown up to be so beautiful!" (Uhh, I'm 11. I don't think I've exactly grown up yet. I mean, I could be butt-ugly when I'm older for all I know.)
"You look just like you mother/nana!"
"You look just like your Aunt Wendy!" (To which I said, "Um, she's my aunt.")
"You are such a pretty girl!"
"Your face looks much better!" (Referring to the Prednisone days, where people looked at me and asked my mom what happened to me.)
"You're looking a little on the skinny side."
"Oh, my skinny girl, you look so good." (Ok, world's biggest complisult?)
"You look so different from when I last saw you!" (Ok, no, THAT is the world's biggest complisult.)
"Your face cleared up so well!"
"Oy, you're so skinny, my baby." (Obviously, you see I am eating, grandma.)

5. I recieve a lot of complisults. The best was from my crazy, obsessed-with-me, amazingly annoying Aunt Marilyn, who said these words to my face.
"Why don't you go out and see some people?"
To which I said, "Ok."
To which SHE said, "We'll put on some mascara and blush and lip gloss and you'll be all ready."
Why, thank you, Aunt Marilyn. I now know that I am so horrendously ugly that I need makeup to see people who are related to me and love me regardless.
Because I do not wear make-up, and I think they love me just fine.

6. I hate large crowds. Hate them, hate them, hate them. There are, like, 3 bazillon people here right now. And all of them, every single one, has asked me how I'm feeling, oh, let's say, 20 times per person? Yes, I'd say that's about right. I'd like to spray them with the poop inside my bag. Ok, something a little less stinky. Like, spilling Listerine on them or something.

Till the old people leave me effing alone,
Casey

A View From the Lounge Chair on 777

2007-07-07T12:12:00.000-04:00

Today is July 7th, 2007. The 7th day of the 7th month in the 7th year of the 21st century. I guess it's supposed to be lucky.

Today, Eva Longoria is getting married... again. She had a civil ceremony last night, and today's the celeration, I think.
Today, thousands of other people are getting married.
Today, 31 people are going to be at the House in the Hamptons, all asking me over and over again if I'm ok, how I'm feeling, if I need help getting up, if I need a drink, etc.
Today, I will be forced to stay outside all day, mingling with people who are 20-60 years older than me.
Today, Aunt Marilyn is coming to the house, and will annoy me more than any other human being or bug here.
Today, my nana and poppy will blast bad Rod Stewart songs in my ear, forcing me to move to anoher lounge chair.
Today, people I barely know/remember will kiss me on the cheek and ask me how I'm doing and tell me they've been thinking of me.

To which, I say, "Yes, I do remember you, fine, and thank you."

So here I sit, on a lounge chair not by a speaker, looking at the people here and trying to remember who the heck they are. Half the people here are most likely not even related to me, which makes it so much easier, because I feel really comfortable with a creepy old man kissing my cheek and telling me I look good. Well, thank you, 65 year old creepyman, thank you very much.

My little sister Lindsay and her friend Amanda are playing Toothpaste in the pool in front of me. The catergory is favorite type of ice cream. How much you wanna bet my sister says "all"? I was right! I was I really was!!! Oh, I'm good.

Lindsay is reciting her president thing, where she lists all the presidents really fast. I can do the first couple and the last three and some in the middle. Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison... and some other guys, and then George Bush, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, the monkey.

So, all of these people are leaving tomorrow, thankfully, and maybe I can go swimming with some closed-end pouches. Or at least wear a bathing suit top or something. Maybe after lunch I can convince my mom to go inside and rest in one of the, what, 3000 bedrooms in this house? All of our rooms have names. We have my nana and poppy's room, which is upstairs. We have freaking CHEETAH CARPETING on the stairs. That's CHEETAH CARPETING. Downstairs there's the Bamboo Room, the Green Room (which is where I sleep), the Ivy Room, and the Blue Room, which has 3 beds and a crib. Then there's the Down Under, which is like the basement, only they turned it into a huge playroom with a fold-out couch bed thing, a princess bedroom, a beach room, and an airplane room. All with beds. Don't say I'm spoiled, because it's really not as big as it sounds.

I'm losing connection, so I have to go and publish this before I completely lose it.

Till next time,
Casey

Happy Fourth of July!

2007-07-04T11:52:00.001-04:00

Happy Fourth of July everyone!

Today's the day when I SHOULD be in my nana's house in the Hamptons, eating corn and grilled zucchini. But corn is on the list of NO CASEY, DON'T EAT THAT foods and zucchini is on the list of STOP EATING IT, CASEY, IT HAS SEEDS foods. But I have no colon and an ostomy bag, and I am here in boring Boca Raton, with no Haley and no Rory and no Alexa, but at least I have my Leanna.

These people are the best of the best, my closest friends.

This is Haley. I've only known her since I went into the hospital, through Rory, but it feels like I've known her forever... in a good way, of course. We joke around with each other all the time and always have fun, even when we're doing absolutely nothing. I think it's safe to say that if I had to choose, I'd give her my firstborn child... or my sister and brother, if she wanted.

I guess that opposites do attract, because me and Leanna couldn't be more different and we've been best friends even through our one big blowout, which was over nothing. All through the fight, we still called each other 'best friend' and I think it's only made us stronger to realize how unbelievably different we are.

This is Alexa. The longest I've ever been friends with anyone, and every second of it is awesome. I love her so much, and she's always been there for me. We have the same birthday and she's 20 minutes older than me, but it doesn't make much of a difference ;). We're twins for life and we're both awesome, and awesome people like awesome people, so I guess that's why we're bestest buddies.

Rory. What can I say about Rory? He's a homewrecker? Well, sort of. He has a sick and twisted sense of humor? Yeah, that too. But is he awesome? Yes. New Year's Eve? Not the best night of my life (two's his lucky number), but whatever. Then, after March, he got obnoxious. And rude. And he was acting like a four-year-old boy who's mom won't take him to see 'Transformers'. But then, it got better. Slowly, a friendship, like there was before December 31st, grew again, and he became a good friend again. People always seem to have problems with our friendship, always asking if we're "back together" (not.) or reminding me what a jerk he was (forgive and forget, people!) but we both think they shouldn't be so freakin' judgemental.

Gotta run! Me and my mom are going to Party City to get some stuff for the barbeque tonight.

Lots of Love,
Casey

The End of the Beginning

2007-07-04T10:33:00.000-04:00

I'm back! Ready to hear the end of my story of medical basketcase-ness and on to the good, funny stuff? Well, I've gotta finish this one first. Here it goes.

After staying in West Boca Medical Center for so long that I'd made friends with the nurses and they were showing me their vacation pictures (no, I really do mean that, I seemed to be doing better so they let me out after a week and a half. I had missed the Safety Patrol trip that my school took, so all my friends were coming to my house and giving me stuffed animals that said 'Washington, D.C.' and 'The White House', and liscense plates for bikes that said 'Casey Visited the Capitol' even though I didn't. I heard stories and recieved emails that made me laugh and feel bad that I missed the trip. I felt so good that everyone was still here for me, even with a face and body full of Prednisone side effects. (learn about them here):

So after a day or two of feeling great, I started feeling a sharp, intense pain in my side. My best friend, Haley, and her mom Diane, were both over, and I kept telling my mom to put her hand in a specific place. My mom called the doctor and it was into the ER we went. I had a kidney stone. Well, I had 2 kidney stones. Big ones. I'm not gonna get in to all the details of that, but it was another 3+ weeks stay at WBMC. I got a lithotripsy, which is basically where they put you under anesthesia, blast your kidney stones with sonic power or something, and you wake up with a bruise on your side. It was painless, and since I was thin it barely left a bruise. After the lithotripsy bruise healed, I still wasn't getting much better, so Dr. H decided I should take this medicine by IV called Remicade. He said it was slightly experimental, and not many people took it. It was only for extreme measures. It was the last thing we could do before surgery, so we agreed to try it.

That night I was taken into the PICU (for those of you without an advanced medical degree, that's Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) because I would need to be closely monitored to make sure my blood pressure didn't go up, my heart rate didn't quicken, and my breath didn't get shallow. After 8 hours in the PICU with the Remicade going into my viens, I was free to go back to the Peds floor. I fell asleep, and the next morning I felt better than I had in years. I was up and walking again, laughing again, being myself again, and I was ready to go home. The Remicade was given to me in 2-week intervals. It was given 2 weeks later, then 4, then 6, and it was going to be 8, but I couldn't go further than 6 without having a flare, so we kept it at 4. We couldn't do this forever, my doctor said, because my body would grow immune to it over time.

After a couple months of feeling amazing off the Remicade, Dr. H ordered another colonoscopy to see how far we'd gotten. I thought I'd be in and out, no problem. I fell asleep from the anesthesia without any worries, and woke up to see my mom talking to Dr. H, a worried look on her face. I began to cry, as I always do on anesthesia, and after I was done kicking and screaming my mom walked over. "Ok..." She started. "Not what I expected. He said you don't look so good, and you're gonna need surgery."

Gulp.

So here I am now, with my ostomy bag and all, an ostomate, as we like to call them. I won't have to live with this forever, just for the next 7 weeks. Follow me as I tell you what it's like to have to crap in a bag, wear maxi pads that feel like penises, and walk like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I am... and proud to be... an ostomate.

I'll just keep telling myself that and maybe someday I'll believe it.

Till next time,
Casey

Here Goes Nothing.

2007-07-03T20:03:00.000-04:00

Well, here I am. In the world of blogging. I told myself I wouldn't do it...

but here I am.

To start off, my name is Casey. I have a story, and here's where I'm gonna tell it to you. (haha, stalkers, no age here)

The last 10 years of my life went pretty well, I'd say, even though I'm waaay to young to be judging that. I was born in the 90's, a time of bad music and *NSYNC, the band that saved me from complete and total musical boredom. I remember I owned all 3... or maybe it was 4... of their CD's (refraining from using the word 'albums' because I know that Di, when she reads this, will laugh and show all her friends that an almost-12-year-old girl from Boca Raton used the word 'album'). I was cute, blonde, blue-eyed (still blue-eyed, not so blonde. more like a reddish-brownish-blonde), and everyone loved me. Or so I like to think. I give you... me.

That's my personal favorite picture.

So, back to my life, because it's really all about me.

Around 7 or 8, I started getting stomachaches. They weren't so terrible, but they were frequent with a capital 'F'. Sometimes all day, usually every day, I'd get stomachaches. It was torture. I couldn't do anything anymore. My neighbor, who came over every day and asked me to go outside- usually I'd say yes- wasn't even bothering to come after I'd turned her down dozens of times. There were rare days when I felt myself. My nana (my mom's mom) who lived in New York told my mom there was a doctor who was highly respected in New York City who she said I just HAD to see (you have to know my nana for this) and to come up right away. When the stomachaches were getting more severe by the week, we took a chance and went. The appointment was a ton of money. A ton of money for him to tell me, "Eat more fiber, and stop worrying so much. The stomachaches will go away in no time."

Well, guess where I am NOW, Mr. Highly-respected-GI-in-NYC?

After eating fiber and not stressing so much didn't help, we decided to contact a REAL GI doctor. His name was Dr. Hernandez, and he was my hero. On the first visit, he knew there was something wrong. He ordered a colonoscopy (a test where they put you under anesthesia and put some camera up your butt and into the digestive system, to see if there's a problem). The results showed I had a larger-than-normal amount of acid in my stomach that was causing ulcers. So, I had ulcers... and acid reflux. He then ordered a gastric emptying. Turned out I had a severe case of gastritis, and a digestive system that did just not want to cooperate. The test took a whopping 6 hours, and I had a 90% SLOWER, that's 90% SLOWER, system than the normal human being. Which is about as slooooooooow as you can posssssssssibly geeeeeeeeeet. So, we'd found out the problem: ulcers on the stomach, 7 to be exact, uber-slow digestive system, and acid reflux. Take some Prevacid, Carafate, Prilosec, and Pepto-Bismol before every meal. I was cured!...

...Not. I was cured for about 1 year. After it was safe to go off all the meds, we went on winter vacation to Vermont for skiing. I began to love the sport, doing it all day without stopping. One day, my throat started to hurt so bad, I went into the ski lodge and sat and drank hot chocolate. But I couldn't swallow it. My throat was really bugging me. My mom took me to a walk-in clinic in a little town outside of Stowe, and I had strep throat. Let's just say I didn't enjoy the rest of my vacation. Then, disaster struck (ok...not really DISASTER, but with my condition, this was pretty bad). I got mononucleosis, an immune system disease that suppresses your appetite and makes you fatigued to the highest level. My mom noticed a behavior change. Her once active and full of life kid was always tired and barely eating. She took me to the doctor. I got a quick mono test, and it was positive. So, we knew the problem. But when the "mono" lasted longer than it was supposed to, and I still wasn't eating, the doctors thought there was something else wrong. Thus starts: The Downward Spiral.

Girl gets mono, loses 10 pounds. Girl gets addicted to losing weight, girl loses another 10 pounds. Girl develops eating disorder. Girl feels crappy, which makes her not want to eat. Because she doesn't eat anything, she feels crappy. Girl goes into a world of guilt, quickly comes out of hole of guilt, eating disorder goes away before girl starts school next year.

The next couple months were good. My eating problem was gone, and I was happy and active again. Then, the new year comes in (and Casey gets her first kiss) and for my great-grandpa's birthday, we went to Disney. Bad idea. I had to be in a wheelchair the whole time. Usually, I was the one leading the group. When we got back from Disney World, my mom took me to Dr. H's office, and he wrote me a ticket to the hospital.

That's all for now, since my fingers are kinda tired and I have to eat dinner now. My story, though, is not finished, and it only gets better, and more colon-less, from here. Stay tuned!